Underserved Joy

Every mistake ever made,
Swirling through my consciousness,
Reminding me with every waking moment,
That I don’t deserve this.
I’m afraid to close my eyes at night,
In fear that when they open,
You’ll be gone,
Just as fast as you came.
As an angel of the night,
You arrived,
Bringing a God-sent peace.
You will never know
What you’ve done to my heart,
You’ll never understand
The healing you’ve started.
I lay awake at night
Wondering if you’re thinking of me,
The way I think of you.
You are so perfect,
I fear you are merely a dream.
How I long to touch your face,
To hold you close,
And whisper promises in your ear,
Of how we’ll be together forever.
The craziest of circumstances
Has brought us together,
Yet I cannot imagine my life
Any other way.

A New Beginning

I wish there was some way
To give you back
Everything you’ve given me.
Something has changed inside,
I feel like I’ve been given a second chance.
I bore my heart,
And you continued to hold it.
You didn’t throw it away,
Like every other one.
How can I make you proud of me?
You can do no wrong,
Your words are like fire,
Stirring this healthy pain
In my heart
I’ve never experienced.
Can’t you see?
I’m new.
Like a breath of fresh air,
Like a cold shower
After mowing the lawn.
The smell after a storm,
I can feel you,
Moving me forward.
The weight’s been lifted,
The games are over,
Tomorrow is a new day,
The freshest start.

Safe

Far from perfect
Everything is falling apart
As the memories come racing back
The mistakes start stacking.
How did I get so far off track?
This is the last step
The last chance.
I cannot ruin this one,
My last promise.
Tell me I stand a chance
Console my heart,
I can’t stand to lose this one.
Come so far,
I feel my fingers
Slowly losing their grip
On every slippery hold
That was once so solid.
There was no lie in her eyes,
I cannot shake
The fear that is choking
All sense of hope
That this is following the path
That I wish so desperately to have.
Options have been exhausted,
As I sit here,
I can only pray
That I am still everything
You say I am,
Far from a failure,
Yet never reaching perfection.
Take me by the hand,
Carry me to the destination,
My body is weary,
My legs cannot hold me any longer.
My strength is gone,
All that’s left is you…
Thank you,
For being everything you always said you were.