Here's one by Kelly Clarkson - I don't really care if you don't like her or not, I do. Anyways, the lyrics are brilliant, and the way it's written, I can also read it in the context of God finding us where we were at, and taking us by the hand, and bringing us to Himself.. enjoy.
Is this a dream?
If it is
Please don't wake me from this high
I'd become comfortably numb
Until you opened up my eyes
To what it's like
When everything's right
I can't believe
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me
So, here we are
That's pretty far
When you think of where we've been
No going back
I'm fading out
All that has faded me within
You're by my side
Now everything's fine
I can't believe
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
You found me
And I was hiding
'Til you came along
And showed me where I belong
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know?
How did you know?
You found me
When no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me
(You found me)
(When no one else was lookin')
You found me
(How did you know just where I would be?)
You broke through
All of my confusion
The ups and the downs
And you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
The good and the bad
And the things in between
You found me
You found me
The video I have up for the song, is still the song, but the pictures are scenes from the Final Fantasy video games. It's called an AMV (Anime Music Video) ignore the video, just listen to the song :) (unless you like the games, then by all means, enjoy! lol)
Friday, May 30, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Mark Schultz
I really don't know how to start off this post, but this first song makes me cry. Yeah, I'll admit it. A lot of different music does. Like I mentioned in a prior post, I'm HUGE about lyrics, and these are two of those songs that really takes the cake. I'm doing a dual posting just for the heck of it. I was listening to both of these songs today, and I really felt the need to post both of these songs for everyone to read. This first song is called Walking Her Home. Read the words, tell me what you think!
Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call
Her dad said son
Have her home on time
And promise me you’ll never leave her side
He took her to a show in town
And he was ten feet off the ground
(Chorus)
He was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him
Down that old road
With the stars up above
He remembers where he was the night he fell in love
He was walking her home
Ten more years and a waiting room
At half past one
And the doctor said come in and meet your son
His knees went weak
When he saw his wife
She was smiling as she said he’s got your eyes
And as she slept he held her tight
His mind went back to that first night
(Chorus)
He walked her through the best days of her life
Sixty years together and he never left her side
A nursing home
At eighty-five
And the doctor said it could be her last night
And the nurse said Oh
Should we tell him now
Or should he wait until the morning to find out
But when they checked her room that night
He was laying by her side
Oh he was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end
And just for a while they were eighteen
And she was still more beautiful to him than anything
He was walking her home
He was walking her home
Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call
The video is a montage someone on YouTube created with the song, and using a montage from the movie The Notebook.
The next song is Letters From War. You have probably heard this song before.. maybe, maybe not. Anyways.. I have a cousin, his name is Peter, and I leave on Tuesday to head down to Georgia with my grandparents and my sister to go see him graduate from basic training with the Army. Also, one of my best friends Josh is in the Navy, and has been serving for a little longer than 2 years now. Josh and I have known each other for 15 years now. Thinking about these people that I know in the military.. it brings on a whole new meaning to this song. I pray daily for those that I love to stay safe and that God forever protect every single one of them. Here are the lyrics to the song, and the music video is following the lyrics.
She walked to the mailbox
On that bright summer's day
Found a letter from her son
In a war, far away
He spoke of the weather
And friends that he'd made
Said, 'I'd been thinking 'bout Dad
And the life that he had
That's why I'm here today'
Then at the end he said
'You are what I'm fighting for'
It was the first of his letters from war
She started writing
Chorus:
You're good and you're brave
What a father that you'll be someday
Make it home, make it safe
She wrote every night as she prayed
And late in December
A day she'll not forget
Oh, her tears stained the paper
With every word that she read
It said, 'I was up on a hill
I was out there alone
When the shots all rang out
And bombs were exploding
And that's when I saw him
He came back for me
Though he was captured
A man set me free
That man was your son
He asked me to write to you
I told him I would, oh I swore'
It was the last of the letters from war
And she prayed he was living
Kept on believing and wrote every night just to say
Chorus
You are good and you're brave
What a father you'll be someday
Make it home, make it safe
Still, she kept writing each day
Then two years later
Autumn leaves all around
A car pulled in the driveway
And she fell to the ground
And out stepped a captain
Where her boy used to stand
He said, 'Mom, I'm following orders
From all of your letters
And I've come home again'
He ran in to hold her
And dropped all his bags on the floor
Holding all of her letters from war
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home
Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call
Her dad said son
Have her home on time
And promise me you’ll never leave her side
He took her to a show in town
And he was ten feet off the ground
(Chorus)
He was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him
Down that old road
With the stars up above
He remembers where he was the night he fell in love
He was walking her home
Ten more years and a waiting room
At half past one
And the doctor said come in and meet your son
His knees went weak
When he saw his wife
She was smiling as she said he’s got your eyes
And as she slept he held her tight
His mind went back to that first night
(Chorus)
He walked her through the best days of her life
Sixty years together and he never left her side
A nursing home
At eighty-five
And the doctor said it could be her last night
And the nurse said Oh
Should we tell him now
Or should he wait until the morning to find out
But when they checked her room that night
He was laying by her side
Oh he was walking her home
And holding her hand
Oh the way she smiled when he said this is not the end
And just for a while they were eighteen
And she was still more beautiful to him than anything
He was walking her home
He was walking her home
Looking back
He sees it all
It was her first date the night he came to call
The video is a montage someone on YouTube created with the song, and using a montage from the movie The Notebook.
The next song is Letters From War. You have probably heard this song before.. maybe, maybe not. Anyways.. I have a cousin, his name is Peter, and I leave on Tuesday to head down to Georgia with my grandparents and my sister to go see him graduate from basic training with the Army. Also, one of my best friends Josh is in the Navy, and has been serving for a little longer than 2 years now. Josh and I have known each other for 15 years now. Thinking about these people that I know in the military.. it brings on a whole new meaning to this song. I pray daily for those that I love to stay safe and that God forever protect every single one of them. Here are the lyrics to the song, and the music video is following the lyrics.
She walked to the mailbox
On that bright summer's day
Found a letter from her son
In a war, far away
He spoke of the weather
And friends that he'd made
Said, 'I'd been thinking 'bout Dad
And the life that he had
That's why I'm here today'
Then at the end he said
'You are what I'm fighting for'
It was the first of his letters from war
She started writing
Chorus:
You're good and you're brave
What a father that you'll be someday
Make it home, make it safe
She wrote every night as she prayed
And late in December
A day she'll not forget
Oh, her tears stained the paper
With every word that she read
It said, 'I was up on a hill
I was out there alone
When the shots all rang out
And bombs were exploding
And that's when I saw him
He came back for me
Though he was captured
A man set me free
That man was your son
He asked me to write to you
I told him I would, oh I swore'
It was the last of the letters from war
And she prayed he was living
Kept on believing and wrote every night just to say
Chorus
You are good and you're brave
What a father you'll be someday
Make it home, make it safe
Still, she kept writing each day
Then two years later
Autumn leaves all around
A car pulled in the driveway
And she fell to the ground
And out stepped a captain
Where her boy used to stand
He said, 'Mom, I'm following orders
From all of your letters
And I've come home again'
He ran in to hold her
And dropped all his bags on the floor
Holding all of her letters from war
Bring him home
Bring him home
Bring him home
Thursday, May 22, 2008
My Home - Thousand Foot Krutch
This place is many things... but i'd never... call it home, its just a building in a city,
everywhere, i go, this place is many things... but i can't call it home, home is the voice that
i hear, every night on the phone, and ive done a few things, i wasn't proud of, might have said
a few things, that hurt you, but you're still the only one who fills me up, and every night
spent alone, was worth it.
[chorus]
you are my home, you are my everything, when i feel so alone, you are my home, you are my
shelter... when all my hope is gone
and i've seen many tings... but they don't look like home, they're just the bright lights from
a city flowing all night long, and ive seen many faces, but they all look the same, home is the
place you are and i just wanna let you know that i've done a few things, i wasn't proud of,
might have said a few things that hurt you, but you're still the only one who fills me up, and
all tears that we've shared were worth it.
you are my home, you are my everything, when i feel so alone, you are my home, you are my
shelter... when all my hope is gone, you are my home, you are my everything, when i feel so
alone, you are my heart, you are the one... when it all comes undone, when it all comes undone,
when it all comes undone
Trevor McNevan, lead singer of TFK, in his interview on the bonus DVD included with their latest CD The Flame in All of Us, said that he wrote this song for his wife. They travel a ton on tours and stuff, and he wrote this song about how much he misses her when he's away, and how she is his home, where he is complete and safe. He said that if the listeners and fans want to use this song in reference to God, that's fine, but this is their first shot at a blatent love song.
Taking it either way, as a love song to a girl, or a song of devotion to God... either way, the song gives me shivers, and I love it. The lyrics are powerful and well thought out.
everywhere, i go, this place is many things... but i can't call it home, home is the voice that
i hear, every night on the phone, and ive done a few things, i wasn't proud of, might have said
a few things, that hurt you, but you're still the only one who fills me up, and every night
spent alone, was worth it.
[chorus]
you are my home, you are my everything, when i feel so alone, you are my home, you are my
shelter... when all my hope is gone
and i've seen many tings... but they don't look like home, they're just the bright lights from
a city flowing all night long, and ive seen many faces, but they all look the same, home is the
place you are and i just wanna let you know that i've done a few things, i wasn't proud of,
might have said a few things that hurt you, but you're still the only one who fills me up, and
all tears that we've shared were worth it.
you are my home, you are my everything, when i feel so alone, you are my home, you are my
shelter... when all my hope is gone, you are my home, you are my everything, when i feel so
alone, you are my heart, you are the one... when it all comes undone, when it all comes undone,
when it all comes undone
Trevor McNevan, lead singer of TFK, in his interview on the bonus DVD included with their latest CD The Flame in All of Us, said that he wrote this song for his wife. They travel a ton on tours and stuff, and he wrote this song about how much he misses her when he's away, and how she is his home, where he is complete and safe. He said that if the listeners and fans want to use this song in reference to God, that's fine, but this is their first shot at a blatent love song.
Taking it either way, as a love song to a girl, or a song of devotion to God... either way, the song gives me shivers, and I love it. The lyrics are powerful and well thought out.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Hanging On - Everyday Sunday
God I’m in this place again I’m trying so hard not to fall,
but everything keeps coming down with the rain.
And I try so hard I forget to call.
Everybody’s looking around, and everybody wants to be found.
And I’m just hanging on; I give You all that I am.
I come to You with all that I am, I bring to You all that I have,
and all I have is nothing, and I keep on trying, and all I want is You.
Everybody’s looking around and wants to be found,
and I’m just hanging on.
I give You all that I am.
And as I sit here in the midst of You,
I come to You; I bring You all that I am.
Everybody’s looking around and wants to be found,
and I’m just hanging on.
I give You all that I am.
Someone created this sweet video on YouTube specifically for this song... I was excited.. so here it is:
This is one of those songs that I consistantly play when I feel overwhelmed with everything that is going on. When I feel like the walls are closing in around me, and there's nowhere left to turn.. when I feel like I am literally just hanging on, and there is nothing else left for me to do but pray. This song is one of those kinds of encouragements where I really feel God with me... and I love it, and I need it.
May this song bless you, as much as it blesses me.
but everything keeps coming down with the rain.
And I try so hard I forget to call.
Everybody’s looking around, and everybody wants to be found.
And I’m just hanging on; I give You all that I am.
I come to You with all that I am, I bring to You all that I have,
and all I have is nothing, and I keep on trying, and all I want is You.
Everybody’s looking around and wants to be found,
and I’m just hanging on.
I give You all that I am.
And as I sit here in the midst of You,
I come to You; I bring You all that I am.
Everybody’s looking around and wants to be found,
and I’m just hanging on.
I give You all that I am.
Someone created this sweet video on YouTube specifically for this song... I was excited.. so here it is:
This is one of those songs that I consistantly play when I feel overwhelmed with everything that is going on. When I feel like the walls are closing in around me, and there's nowhere left to turn.. when I feel like I am literally just hanging on, and there is nothing else left for me to do but pray. This song is one of those kinds of encouragements where I really feel God with me... and I love it, and I need it.
May this song bless you, as much as it blesses me.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Learning to Breathe - Switchfoot
This song is a little on the older end as far as huge Switchfoot hits go, but this song will never die in my mind. This song brings so much to mind for me, and often I get teary-eyed as I sing the song. This to me is often my cry out to God. I'm learning to breathe, I'm learning how to fly, I'm learning how to rely on Him with all that I am, I feel more than alive, I know who I am. I love God with my whole heart, and it is only because of Him that I am able to show love to everyone else. Here are the words to the song... maybe you'll understand.
Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way that I'm
Learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Hello, good morning, how you been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought that
I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad
So this is the way I say I need You
This is the way that I say I love You
This is the way that I say I'm Yours
This is the way, this is the way
I'm trying to find a good video clip of the song.. but till I find it, I guess you'll just have to read through the lyrics.
Hello, good morning, how you do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new
So this is the way that I say I need You
This is the way that I'm
Learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that You and You alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies
Hello, good morning, how you been?
Yesterday left my head kicked in
I never, never thought that
I would fall like that
Never knew that I could hurt this bad
So this is the way I say I need You
This is the way that I say I love You
This is the way that I say I'm Yours
This is the way, this is the way
I'm trying to find a good video clip of the song.. but till I find it, I guess you'll just have to read through the lyrics.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Everything - Lifehouse
I have seen the "Everything" skit a number of times. I don't want to beat a dead horse, but I REALLY think everyone should see this video. At the bottom of this post, I have the video for the Everything skit. Next, I have the lyrics listed for the song by Lifehouse. The skit paints an amazing image of the incredible struggle we have with sin in our lives as we are trying to pursue Christ.
find me here
and speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
you are the light
that's leading me
to the place
where I find peace again
you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life
to my soul
you are my purpose
you're everything
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this yeah
you calm the storms
and you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
and you take my breath away
would you take me in
take me deeper now
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
cause you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything
you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything
you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything
you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
find me here
and speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
you are the light
that's leading me
to the place
where I find peace again
you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life
to my soul
you are my purpose
you're everything
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this yeah
you calm the storms
and you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
and you take my breath away
would you take me in
take me deeper now
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
cause you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything
you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything
you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything
you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this
Who Needs Air - The Classic Crime
I long to taste adventure like the nature of the sea,
Always moving, always hiding all the creatures from beneath.
Singing silent songs of sadness my heart waits for its chance,
To dance upon the ashes of my burned up little plans.
And I stand alone before the night.
My nakedness is so clear in the glow of the moonlight.
Life is old but so short.
We are young we want more.
I'm drowning, but I don't care,
Because when you got what I got, what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
You don’t need air.
My addiction to danger like the rush of the sea,
Like a wave on the rocks the lessons crash down on me.
I don’t need to prove the world to you only to myself.
So step back and look away as I dive into the swell.
I'm drowning, but I don't care,
Because when you got what I got, what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
I'm drowning, but I don't care,
Because when you got what I got, what I got, what I got
You don’t need air.
Take me down to the river like a little child,
Take my hand and tell me its okay to be wild.
I never knew the world until I saw through your eyes,
I never knew my self until I ripped off my disguise.
I’m drowning, but I don’t care,
Because when you’ve got what I got, what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
I have come to the realization that life is more than what I have accomplished.
And life is more then the realization that we have accomplished nothing at all.
True success is so selfless so drown in the lyrics of your life and give up the air that you breathe.
You don’t need anything.
Think about it. Basically the song is talking about the incredible need for God. Take from it what you want. I absolutely love this song. At the bottom of this post is a video of the song. It is the Classic Crime singing it, but the video is a homemade dedication, so if you want, ignore what you see, and just listen to it as you read through the lyrics.
Always moving, always hiding all the creatures from beneath.
Singing silent songs of sadness my heart waits for its chance,
To dance upon the ashes of my burned up little plans.
And I stand alone before the night.
My nakedness is so clear in the glow of the moonlight.
Life is old but so short.
We are young we want more.
I'm drowning, but I don't care,
Because when you got what I got, what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
You don’t need air.
My addiction to danger like the rush of the sea,
Like a wave on the rocks the lessons crash down on me.
I don’t need to prove the world to you only to myself.
So step back and look away as I dive into the swell.
I'm drowning, but I don't care,
Because when you got what I got, what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
I'm drowning, but I don't care,
Because when you got what I got, what I got, what I got
You don’t need air.
Take me down to the river like a little child,
Take my hand and tell me its okay to be wild.
I never knew the world until I saw through your eyes,
I never knew my self until I ripped off my disguise.
I’m drowning, but I don’t care,
Because when you’ve got what I got, what I got, what I got
Who needs air?
I have come to the realization that life is more than what I have accomplished.
And life is more then the realization that we have accomplished nothing at all.
True success is so selfless so drown in the lyrics of your life and give up the air that you breathe.
You don’t need anything.
Think about it. Basically the song is talking about the incredible need for God. Take from it what you want. I absolutely love this song. At the bottom of this post is a video of the song. It is the Classic Crime singing it, but the video is a homemade dedication, so if you want, ignore what you see, and just listen to it as you read through the lyrics.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Welcome Home (You) - Brian Littrell
When I left home to be who I am
Some people said "No Way"
But I laid it all down, gave everything
In my head rang the words that my father said
You're never far
I will be where you are
and when you come to me
I will open my arms
Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face.
When I look at you holding my heart
I will give to you all that I have
Son I know there'll be times
You will feel all alone
I will share with you the words my father said
You're never far
I will be where you are
and when you come to me
You can bet I will open my arms
Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face
Said I've been waiting for that day
Just to feel your warm embrace
Your love has shown
I will never be alone
You will welcome me home
I'll forever be
You will say to me
Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face
When I left home to be who I am
Some people said "No Way"
I don't really know why this song hits me so hard everytime I hear it... but it really does. As I type this, I'm watching the video on YouTube (I can't find the embeded text to add it to this post), tears come into my eyes just thinking through this whole video. Take the time to really read through these words... then go on YouTube, and look up the video. Through the video, Brian has Military stuff going on, showing a Dad, and then his son growing up, joining the military, and then getting a letter from his son, then seeing on the TV that his son is MIA, then at the end of the video, you see his son get off the bus, and give him a huge hug, and you just see this incredible look of relief in the father's eyes... then, you also see these "ghosts" get off the bus, which obviously symbolizes the men in the troop that didn't make it, then they walk into the light, after walking by everyone there.
I could make some supraspiritual parallels to this.. but I don't feel like it, and I'm sure you could come up with some pretty good ones on your own. I just put myself into the shoes of the father in the video, and just try and feel what he feels, and just imagine what that would be like.
I just finished up my Sophomore year at Cornerstone, and I'm on summer break now. It hasn't quite hit me yet that I'm done. Yeah, I miss my friends already.. but that won't hit hard for about another week or two. Think of the one or two people that mean the most to you. Family member, best friend, etc. One of my best friends Dan Nichols goes to college 9 hours away from me. We talk occassionally, but he's always so busy, and when he's not busy, I'm busy, and vice versa. I look forward like you wouldn't believe to summer so that I can see him and be able to hangout with him, and other friends from home. Now imagine that person(s) being in harms way (I wouldn't want to either), but think about them FINALLY coming home, and being back, safe with you... THAT is what is going on in this video, and in the song.
Some people said "No Way"
But I laid it all down, gave everything
In my head rang the words that my father said
You're never far
I will be where you are
and when you come to me
I will open my arms
Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face.
When I look at you holding my heart
I will give to you all that I have
Son I know there'll be times
You will feel all alone
I will share with you the words my father said
You're never far
I will be where you are
and when you come to me
You can bet I will open my arms
Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face
Said I've been waiting for that day
Just to feel your warm embrace
Your love has shown
I will never be alone
You will welcome me home
I'll forever be
You will say to me
Welcome Home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know son, it's good just to see your face
When I left home to be who I am
Some people said "No Way"
I don't really know why this song hits me so hard everytime I hear it... but it really does. As I type this, I'm watching the video on YouTube (I can't find the embeded text to add it to this post), tears come into my eyes just thinking through this whole video. Take the time to really read through these words... then go on YouTube, and look up the video. Through the video, Brian has Military stuff going on, showing a Dad, and then his son growing up, joining the military, and then getting a letter from his son, then seeing on the TV that his son is MIA, then at the end of the video, you see his son get off the bus, and give him a huge hug, and you just see this incredible look of relief in the father's eyes... then, you also see these "ghosts" get off the bus, which obviously symbolizes the men in the troop that didn't make it, then they walk into the light, after walking by everyone there.
I could make some supraspiritual parallels to this.. but I don't feel like it, and I'm sure you could come up with some pretty good ones on your own. I just put myself into the shoes of the father in the video, and just try and feel what he feels, and just imagine what that would be like.
I just finished up my Sophomore year at Cornerstone, and I'm on summer break now. It hasn't quite hit me yet that I'm done. Yeah, I miss my friends already.. but that won't hit hard for about another week or two. Think of the one or two people that mean the most to you. Family member, best friend, etc. One of my best friends Dan Nichols goes to college 9 hours away from me. We talk occassionally, but he's always so busy, and when he's not busy, I'm busy, and vice versa. I look forward like you wouldn't believe to summer so that I can see him and be able to hangout with him, and other friends from home. Now imagine that person(s) being in harms way (I wouldn't want to either), but think about them FINALLY coming home, and being back, safe with you... THAT is what is going on in this video, and in the song.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
To Write Love On Her Arms
For those who have never heard of it, To Write Love On Her Arms is a cause that seeks to help people see that there is hope. In the midst of depression, in the midst of suicide, in the midst of cutting; someone loves them, rescue is possible.
Facebook lists 2 specific goals:
1. To inform and inspire lives of compassion
2. To communicate hope and love to broken people
I'm so sick and tired of hearing people accuse me of being part of the latest "fad" with this one. If this is a "fad", then I don't care. I am behind To Write Love On Her Arms 100%. The idea of it is the entire reason that I'm planning on going into Youth Ministry. People have an awful lot of crap going on in their lives, and many just don't know how to deal with it. So a lot of people become depressed, and "untreated depression" can lead to suicide and/ or cutting. There are so many people who just need to be told that they are worth something special. An embrace, a word of encouragement, anything can help. Teenagers and college kids are where my heart really lies in trying to help out. I wear the shirts with TWLOHA to show A) that I'm a part of the cause, and B) to get people to ask me what TWLOHA is all about.
Here is a YouTube Video that the creator of TWLOHA made:
If you want to find out more about the sweet cause, check them out at their website, www.twloha.com
Facebook lists 2 specific goals:
1. To inform and inspire lives of compassion
2. To communicate hope and love to broken people
I'm so sick and tired of hearing people accuse me of being part of the latest "fad" with this one. If this is a "fad", then I don't care. I am behind To Write Love On Her Arms 100%. The idea of it is the entire reason that I'm planning on going into Youth Ministry. People have an awful lot of crap going on in their lives, and many just don't know how to deal with it. So a lot of people become depressed, and "untreated depression" can lead to suicide and/ or cutting. There are so many people who just need to be told that they are worth something special. An embrace, a word of encouragement, anything can help. Teenagers and college kids are where my heart really lies in trying to help out. I wear the shirts with TWLOHA to show A) that I'm a part of the cause, and B) to get people to ask me what TWLOHA is all about.
Here is a YouTube Video that the creator of TWLOHA made:
If you want to find out more about the sweet cause, check them out at their website, www.twloha.com
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Dying for a Heart
Save me
Hurry, please
I’m tearing at the seams
The stitching is coming undone.
Save me
They may see who I really am
See that I am more
Than this broken heart
More than these stains
More than this mask.
I was told
It was better to be honest
To let people inside.
Look at me now.
Does this look better?
All you ever did
Was make this a bigger mess.
This line in the sand
A clear signal
Of a horrible betrayal.
Your blind eyes
Stare back at me.
I thought I knew you
But now
It is so clear
That I was just staring
Into another mask.
My heart is numb
Your heart is dead.
You gave up life
A long time ago
Back in the days
When you couldn’t let go.
Freeze me down
It will only make this
Just a little easier.
Save me
From this disturbed ending
From a heart left untouched
And a sorrowful goodbye.
Hurry, please
I’m tearing at the seams
The stitching is coming undone.
Save me
They may see who I really am
See that I am more
Than this broken heart
More than these stains
More than this mask.
I was told
It was better to be honest
To let people inside.
Look at me now.
Does this look better?
All you ever did
Was make this a bigger mess.
This line in the sand
A clear signal
Of a horrible betrayal.
Your blind eyes
Stare back at me.
I thought I knew you
But now
It is so clear
That I was just staring
Into another mask.
My heart is numb
Your heart is dead.
You gave up life
A long time ago
Back in the days
When you couldn’t let go.
Freeze me down
It will only make this
Just a little easier.
Save me
From this disturbed ending
From a heart left untouched
And a sorrowful goodbye.
Rebirthing
I’m sitting here,
Screaming your name
Save me!!
How long
Must I scream your name
And receive no answer.
How long
Must I bleed
Praying for a rescuer.
I tire of this game
This ritualistic junk.
My body aches
For this coming restoration
I can feel you
Here in my heart
I know
That you have not
Forgotten about me
You’re coming
You will save me
Enough of this darkness
Enough of this pain
Welcome me
With open arms
And the smile
That will break my heart.
I need to see your face
I want to see your eyes
I need to see the face of Love.
Show me this purpose
Bring this to a close
Stop my endless cries
Show me where to go
I need to know
What to do.
I am far from the end
So I need your hand
To show me the way.
Screaming your name
Save me!!
How long
Must I scream your name
And receive no answer.
How long
Must I bleed
Praying for a rescuer.
I tire of this game
This ritualistic junk.
My body aches
For this coming restoration
I can feel you
Here in my heart
I know
That you have not
Forgotten about me
You’re coming
You will save me
Enough of this darkness
Enough of this pain
Welcome me
With open arms
And the smile
That will break my heart.
I need to see your face
I want to see your eyes
I need to see the face of Love.
Show me this purpose
Bring this to a close
Stop my endless cries
Show me where to go
I need to know
What to do.
I am far from the end
So I need your hand
To show me the way.
Over and Over
Heartaches left me numb
A bleeding shell
This never ending cycle,
Why can’t I learn
You are such a joke.
You only ever intended
To hurt me
In any and every way.
Gripping my chest
I try and fail
To hold my heart in place.
What a wicked mess.
I trusted you
You said I meant a lot
You said to never forget.
I haven’t.
You have.
I handed you the gun
Totally trusting you
And you turned and fired
Right at my heart.
Now I sit here
In total disbelief.
How can I trust
Anyone ever again?
You ruined me
Beyond compare.
I’m afraid
I can’t heal this time.
Is it really the end this time?
I fall every time
For the same thing.
I thought you were different,
But as I lie,
I see the truth.
Just a mere shadow
Creeping along the wall
This void
Is a never ending nightmare.
That glimmering light
Was just a joke
Just a wishful thought
That is no more.
A bleeding shell
This never ending cycle,
Why can’t I learn
You are such a joke.
You only ever intended
To hurt me
In any and every way.
Gripping my chest
I try and fail
To hold my heart in place.
What a wicked mess.
I trusted you
You said I meant a lot
You said to never forget.
I haven’t.
You have.
I handed you the gun
Totally trusting you
And you turned and fired
Right at my heart.
Now I sit here
In total disbelief.
How can I trust
Anyone ever again?
You ruined me
Beyond compare.
I’m afraid
I can’t heal this time.
Is it really the end this time?
I fall every time
For the same thing.
I thought you were different,
But as I lie,
I see the truth.
Just a mere shadow
Creeping along the wall
This void
Is a never ending nightmare.
That glimmering light
Was just a joke
Just a wishful thought
That is no more.
Memories
Untold secrets
A vision unclear.
I told you a lie
When I said I was ok.
You said it is done
I said fine.
A gaze left unmet
You can’t even look
Me in the eye.
Broken pieces
Left on the floor
Unsolved,
A jumbled mess.
I wasn’t ever
Ready to let go.
How is it
You were so quick
To say farewell.
Shattered memories
A shift in time
Broken vows
A kiss goodbye.
I said I still love you,
But you never looked back.
Tears streaming down my face
I watch
As you walk
Into the sunset
Out of my life.
I wasn’t good enough,
Not what you wanted.
So I lie in bed
In chaotic solitude
Left with nothing but memories
Of a time before goodbye.
A vision unclear.
I told you a lie
When I said I was ok.
You said it is done
I said fine.
A gaze left unmet
You can’t even look
Me in the eye.
Broken pieces
Left on the floor
Unsolved,
A jumbled mess.
I wasn’t ever
Ready to let go.
How is it
You were so quick
To say farewell.
Shattered memories
A shift in time
Broken vows
A kiss goodbye.
I said I still love you,
But you never looked back.
Tears streaming down my face
I watch
As you walk
Into the sunset
Out of my life.
I wasn’t good enough,
Not what you wanted.
So I lie in bed
In chaotic solitude
Left with nothing but memories
Of a time before goodbye.
Forgiven
Finally realizing the worthlessness
Of the moment,
Scorned,
Wishing it would be no more.
Staggering silence
All I needed was an answer.
The bitter taste
Of this living nightmare
I cannot escape these flames,
This poisonous spitfire.
Like the snake
That sneaks upon its prey
Waiting for the right moment,
So I stand taking
Every last arrow in your arsenal,
Waiting,
Ever waiting,
You won’t escape my perfect moment.
My revenge is bittersweet,
For it is nothing like
You have ever tasted.
You know you’re wrong,
And it’s going to kill you
When I tell you I forgive you.
Taste this
You’ve never seen blood like this.
Purged of the darkness
I know what the light looks like.
Like a dark resolve
This is my focus.
I stand amazed at your inability
To recognize
That this is finally the end.
Of the moment,
Scorned,
Wishing it would be no more.
Staggering silence
All I needed was an answer.
The bitter taste
Of this living nightmare
I cannot escape these flames,
This poisonous spitfire.
Like the snake
That sneaks upon its prey
Waiting for the right moment,
So I stand taking
Every last arrow in your arsenal,
Waiting,
Ever waiting,
You won’t escape my perfect moment.
My revenge is bittersweet,
For it is nothing like
You have ever tasted.
You know you’re wrong,
And it’s going to kill you
When I tell you I forgive you.
Taste this
You’ve never seen blood like this.
Purged of the darkness
I know what the light looks like.
Like a dark resolve
This is my focus.
I stand amazed at your inability
To recognize
That this is finally the end.
Save Me
Desperate attacks from every side
Inner demons whispering in my ear
Through every hellfire
I walk alone.
In the distance
All I can see is this gleaming smile
Something draws me closer and closer
I cannot run from my past,
Thus I run faster towards my future.
Somewhere in the darkness
I know there is a brilliant light
That never goes out.
The same light that calls to me
Calling me forward
Comforting me amongst
All this pain,
Through every trial
And every tear.
Solace through bloodshed
Peace in fire.
One day I will dance in the light
But for now,
I tread cautiously in the
Blinding darkness.
Show me the light
Show me the path
Take me by the hand
Make it clear that it is you,
Keep me safe,
Carry me in my weakest state,
Support me in this darkness
I know you’re there,
I just can’t feel you.
The more I walk,
The closer I get to you
I think I can actually
See your eyes
Smiling at me now,
Beaconing me closer
I’m coming,
Don’t forget about me…
I’m coming Lord.
Inner demons whispering in my ear
Through every hellfire
I walk alone.
In the distance
All I can see is this gleaming smile
Something draws me closer and closer
I cannot run from my past,
Thus I run faster towards my future.
Somewhere in the darkness
I know there is a brilliant light
That never goes out.
The same light that calls to me
Calling me forward
Comforting me amongst
All this pain,
Through every trial
And every tear.
Solace through bloodshed
Peace in fire.
One day I will dance in the light
But for now,
I tread cautiously in the
Blinding darkness.
Show me the light
Show me the path
Take me by the hand
Make it clear that it is you,
Keep me safe,
Carry me in my weakest state,
Support me in this darkness
I know you’re there,
I just can’t feel you.
The more I walk,
The closer I get to you
I think I can actually
See your eyes
Smiling at me now,
Beaconing me closer
I’m coming,
Don’t forget about me…
I’m coming Lord.
Infected
It’s only in the darkest of nights
That I can see the poison
Flowing freely through my veins.
A darkness eclipses my soul
Draining all light
Reducing me to a shell.
Forget about faith and trust
Forget about love and peace,
You ran to save your life
And left me to die
In the city of the damned,
Where lies are mistaken for truth
And hate and pain
Are mistaken for love.
Broken dreams
Shattered whispers
A past forgotten
As I slowly take my final breath,
Succumbing to the poison
Taking over my body.
What a miserable waste,
Is this the true destination?
Is this really the end?
The poison is what you used
I’m at the breaking point,
Desperation is taking over,
I will not be destroyed
By this sickness you have inflicted.
I’ll survive,
And then you’ll understand
The true meaning of fear
The same fear you
Instilled in my brain.
Goodbye for now,
Run while you still can.
That I can see the poison
Flowing freely through my veins.
A darkness eclipses my soul
Draining all light
Reducing me to a shell.
Forget about faith and trust
Forget about love and peace,
You ran to save your life
And left me to die
In the city of the damned,
Where lies are mistaken for truth
And hate and pain
Are mistaken for love.
Broken dreams
Shattered whispers
A past forgotten
As I slowly take my final breath,
Succumbing to the poison
Taking over my body.
What a miserable waste,
Is this the true destination?
Is this really the end?
The poison is what you used
I’m at the breaking point,
Desperation is taking over,
I will not be destroyed
By this sickness you have inflicted.
I’ll survive,
And then you’ll understand
The true meaning of fear
The same fear you
Instilled in my brain.
Goodbye for now,
Run while you still can.
A New Way to be Human
I’ve forgotten how to hate
I’ve forgotten how to love
I’ve become so numb
I don’t know how to feel.
The tears flow freely now,
I don’t know where
They are coming from.
Tears of sadness,
Tears of joy,
I couldn’t care less
I lost the ability to feel.
Like a gentle stab
To the back,
You ran me through.
Where did I go wrong?
Where did I fail?
You took her away,
You took him away,
Alone and restless
I fall back to the depths.
Will you just forget me?
Leave me be,
I just want to be alone.
Give me time to think,
To learn how to be human,
Just give me time,
I’ll be back.
Here’s to the memories
Of a forgotten day.
I’ve forgotten how to love
I’ve become so numb
I don’t know how to feel.
The tears flow freely now,
I don’t know where
They are coming from.
Tears of sadness,
Tears of joy,
I couldn’t care less
I lost the ability to feel.
Like a gentle stab
To the back,
You ran me through.
Where did I go wrong?
Where did I fail?
You took her away,
You took him away,
Alone and restless
I fall back to the depths.
Will you just forget me?
Leave me be,
I just want to be alone.
Give me time to think,
To learn how to be human,
Just give me time,
I’ll be back.
Here’s to the memories
Of a forgotten day.
In My Dreams
Eyes of an angel,
Touch of the divine
A heart of solid gold
The soul of one truly loved.
A passing glance
And tears stain my face.
Your beauty is beyond words.
I am so ordinary
Yet you call me your own
Passion’s fire,
You draw me closer
I want no other
You are mine.
Every failure forgotten
Every motive cleansed.
You see me for me,
You see my heart.
There’s no one like you,
It’s just you and me.
Hand in hand,
We face the future.
A future that finally
Looks bright.
A stained life,
Now forgotten
All I see is you,
I see no wrong,
I see nothing but you.
I see everything you are
Everything you were
Is left at a glance,
It cannot taint my vision of you.
You can do wrong,
This I understand,
But you are mine,
And you are perfect.
I never lie,
Nothing you can do
Will ever change how I feel.
My heart is yours,
We are bound forever.
Touch of the divine
A heart of solid gold
The soul of one truly loved.
A passing glance
And tears stain my face.
Your beauty is beyond words.
I am so ordinary
Yet you call me your own
Passion’s fire,
You draw me closer
I want no other
You are mine.
Every failure forgotten
Every motive cleansed.
You see me for me,
You see my heart.
There’s no one like you,
It’s just you and me.
Hand in hand,
We face the future.
A future that finally
Looks bright.
A stained life,
Now forgotten
All I see is you,
I see no wrong,
I see nothing but you.
I see everything you are
Everything you were
Is left at a glance,
It cannot taint my vision of you.
You can do wrong,
This I understand,
But you are mine,
And you are perfect.
I never lie,
Nothing you can do
Will ever change how I feel.
My heart is yours,
We are bound forever.
Goodbye For Now
Trapped
Gasping for breath
Can’t reach the surface
Trying to break free.
The final tears
Of goodbye shed
A forgotten loss
A staggering failure
A broken heart on the sleeve
Thrown out
With yesterday’s trash
A shriek from
Beyond the grave
A shiver creeping
Up my spine
I’m forced to remember
The pain of the lost.
Not enough water
To wash these stains
To wash the blood
To restore innocence
To restore life.
You’re too far gone,
I can’t get you back.
Wait for me,
I’ll see you again someday.
Don’t forget me,
I can’t forget you.
Gasping for breath
Can’t reach the surface
Trying to break free.
The final tears
Of goodbye shed
A forgotten loss
A staggering failure
A broken heart on the sleeve
Thrown out
With yesterday’s trash
A shriek from
Beyond the grave
A shiver creeping
Up my spine
I’m forced to remember
The pain of the lost.
Not enough water
To wash these stains
To wash the blood
To restore innocence
To restore life.
You’re too far gone,
I can’t get you back.
Wait for me,
I’ll see you again someday.
Don’t forget me,
I can’t forget you.
Where is Your Heart
I gotta hide it
I need to fake it
I need to put on
The happy face
Wear the awful mask
So no one
Can see the hell
Burning through my veins.
No one wants to hear
About brokenness and despair
They only want to see
The plastic smile
To make themselves
Feel better.
Forget the fact
She’s dying inside
Forget the fact
She needs you so bad
Forget the fact
She needs an escape.
He wants to pour out
His soul to you
He wants tell you
Everything that’s wrong
In his life.
He just needs to know
Someone cares.
Gun in his hand,
He silently prays
That God give him just
One sign that
He really matters
Cause if not,
He’s ending it tonight.
All they need
Is someone willing
To go further
Than a quick, “Hey”.
I need to fake it
I need to put on
The happy face
Wear the awful mask
So no one
Can see the hell
Burning through my veins.
No one wants to hear
About brokenness and despair
They only want to see
The plastic smile
To make themselves
Feel better.
Forget the fact
She’s dying inside
Forget the fact
She needs you so bad
Forget the fact
She needs an escape.
He wants to pour out
His soul to you
He wants tell you
Everything that’s wrong
In his life.
He just needs to know
Someone cares.
Gun in his hand,
He silently prays
That God give him just
One sign that
He really matters
Cause if not,
He’s ending it tonight.
All they need
Is someone willing
To go further
Than a quick, “Hey”.
Into the Night
Time stands still
The light left your eyes
The screaming silence
Destroys my ears.
Beautiful bliss of the unknown
This is where I stand.
I take your hand
With my final breath
My world
Is spinning out of control
Colliding with my future,
And now it is my end.
They always told me
To never follow
That white light
But they never knew
How beautiful it really is.
Follow me,
Walk with me,
I’m done,
And I’m ready to go,
We’re being welcomed home,
Are you coming?
I have your hand,
And I want you to come.
What a beautiful ending,
A taste of something new
An incredible view,
A shift in thought,
I can see it in the distance.
Let’s go together,
I won’t leave you behind.
The light left your eyes
The screaming silence
Destroys my ears.
Beautiful bliss of the unknown
This is where I stand.
I take your hand
With my final breath
My world
Is spinning out of control
Colliding with my future,
And now it is my end.
They always told me
To never follow
That white light
But they never knew
How beautiful it really is.
Follow me,
Walk with me,
I’m done,
And I’m ready to go,
We’re being welcomed home,
Are you coming?
I have your hand,
And I want you to come.
What a beautiful ending,
A taste of something new
An incredible view,
A shift in thought,
I can see it in the distance.
Let’s go together,
I won’t leave you behind.
A Moment Suspended in Time
Take my hand,
Hold me tight,
Walk me into the light.
I’ve forgotten the way
I forgot how long it’s been
Every tear shed
Every lonely night
Alone I stood,
But now I feel You
Here with me
Suddenly
I know your heart
I know your thoughts
Your hand,
It guides me
Showing me
Where this is going.
I can’t contain it,
I felt so lost,
Never let go of me,
This is where I need to be.
I cast my broken heart aside,
I bow here at your feet,
Forgive me for my every thought
My every doubt
You are in control,
I don’t understand
Where I lost my sight
I don’t understand
Why I followed my mind,
When my heart knew the way.
My mind only lead
To my heartbreak,
But now,
Here I stand with You,
And I know
That it is all going to be alright.
And here I am
With everyone I lost on the way,
This is where I’m meant to be,
Please let me stay
Hold me tight,
Walk me into the light.
I’ve forgotten the way
I forgot how long it’s been
Every tear shed
Every lonely night
Alone I stood,
But now I feel You
Here with me
Suddenly
I know your heart
I know your thoughts
Your hand,
It guides me
Showing me
Where this is going.
I can’t contain it,
I felt so lost,
Never let go of me,
This is where I need to be.
I cast my broken heart aside,
I bow here at your feet,
Forgive me for my every thought
My every doubt
You are in control,
I don’t understand
Where I lost my sight
I don’t understand
Why I followed my mind,
When my heart knew the way.
My mind only lead
To my heartbreak,
But now,
Here I stand with You,
And I know
That it is all going to be alright.
And here I am
With everyone I lost on the way,
This is where I’m meant to be,
Please let me stay
Break the Silence
This is my final lullaby
I lay my head down
My mind a shattered mess
What a pitiful mess I’ve become.
A bitter taste left in my mouth
I couldn’t fathom this ever happening
But here I stand at my crossroads
Being stretched to every corner
I can’t take this loss
I never saw this coming
Tell me when
This will all finally end.
In a way that shocked my system
Jolted me awake
Into this bitter nightmare.
I wish I could go back to sleep
Back to the place
Where I know I’m safe.
I can’t take this heartache
I can’t take this pain.
I lost my sense of time,
When did this first begin?
A pain so intense
I can taste the blood in my mouth.
Sweet innocence,
I can never gaze into your eyes again.
Forgotten and broken
Maybe I can just lie here
And forget everything,
And just remember your face
Just this one last time.
Never let me forget your face,
Burn it into the grains of my memory.
I lay my head down
My mind a shattered mess
What a pitiful mess I’ve become.
A bitter taste left in my mouth
I couldn’t fathom this ever happening
But here I stand at my crossroads
Being stretched to every corner
I can’t take this loss
I never saw this coming
Tell me when
This will all finally end.
In a way that shocked my system
Jolted me awake
Into this bitter nightmare.
I wish I could go back to sleep
Back to the place
Where I know I’m safe.
I can’t take this heartache
I can’t take this pain.
I lost my sense of time,
When did this first begin?
A pain so intense
I can taste the blood in my mouth.
Sweet innocence,
I can never gaze into your eyes again.
Forgotten and broken
Maybe I can just lie here
And forget everything,
And just remember your face
Just this one last time.
Never let me forget your face,
Burn it into the grains of my memory.
In The Light
Lying here
Broken
Alone
Unwanted
On the floor,
Waiting for a glimpse
Of what could have been.
Broken and fading
The visage lost.
A broken wing,
A lost cause.
You never waited
This flame in your eyes
Already set the world ablaze
Already torched my soul
Already ravaged the earth.
Like a candle
Quickly fading in the cool breeze,
I die
Staring at you in disbelief.
A weary soul
Tortured by your every lie
The lie that dripped
Like poison from your tongue.
A venom that cut
Like no blade ever could.
Shifty eyes
And a gleaming smile
Tore down my every defense.
I trusted you,
You looked me in the eye
And laughed.
Blinded by what I wanted
I should have seen this coming
I never thought my death
Would come like this.
In my final breath
My only wish
Is that the world see through
Your venom
Your every lie,
And turn to the Light.
Broken
Alone
Unwanted
On the floor,
Waiting for a glimpse
Of what could have been.
Broken and fading
The visage lost.
A broken wing,
A lost cause.
You never waited
This flame in your eyes
Already set the world ablaze
Already torched my soul
Already ravaged the earth.
Like a candle
Quickly fading in the cool breeze,
I die
Staring at you in disbelief.
A weary soul
Tortured by your every lie
The lie that dripped
Like poison from your tongue.
A venom that cut
Like no blade ever could.
Shifty eyes
And a gleaming smile
Tore down my every defense.
I trusted you,
You looked me in the eye
And laughed.
Blinded by what I wanted
I should have seen this coming
I never thought my death
Would come like this.
In my final breath
My only wish
Is that the world see through
Your venom
Your every lie,
And turn to the Light.
It Ends Tonight
I need to escape
I want to run away,
I can’t take this anymore.
Too long have I been tied down
Allowing myself to bleed
Allowing myself to cry.
Tears of death knowing no end
This ends now.
I’m tired of running
I’m tired of hurting.
Release me from this pain,
Show me the reasons
For this bittersweet delusion.
I had all the answers,
But now they fall in complete disarray,
Their every intention
A bitter lie.
All I know
Has shattered to pieces
And falls like gleaming rain
All around me.
My greatest mistake
Was ever thinking I could trust.
This pain in my chest
Will never leave me,
Your hand is the one
Holding the dagger.
You knew my weakest point,
And tore me apart.
Curse this heart,
I cannot breathe
Too late to try again,
This time it’s over.
Take a good look,
You’ll never see me again.
I want to run away,
I can’t take this anymore.
Too long have I been tied down
Allowing myself to bleed
Allowing myself to cry.
Tears of death knowing no end
This ends now.
I’m tired of running
I’m tired of hurting.
Release me from this pain,
Show me the reasons
For this bittersweet delusion.
I had all the answers,
But now they fall in complete disarray,
Their every intention
A bitter lie.
All I know
Has shattered to pieces
And falls like gleaming rain
All around me.
My greatest mistake
Was ever thinking I could trust.
This pain in my chest
Will never leave me,
Your hand is the one
Holding the dagger.
You knew my weakest point,
And tore me apart.
Curse this heart,
I cannot breathe
Too late to try again,
This time it’s over.
Take a good look,
You’ll never see me again.
My Own Enemy
Tell me what is wrong with me
I’m not broken,
But I’m bleeding.
I bleed so easily,
Running freely down my side.
Broken and dying,
I hide here
In the midst of this darkness.
This darkness that you
Cannot find me in.
Leave me,
Forgotten and alone,
I’m better off this way,
Not knowing the difference
Between love and hate.
The bitter sting of your words,
Tore down my every wall,
My very defense.
Cut to the quick,
You knew how to get the job done.
Battle worn,
Your blood-spattered sword in hand,
You killed countless others
The way you got me.
I remain here
Awaiting the trial of the dead,
Knowing it wasn’t time.
I saw your eyes…
They weren’t the same
You lost something
When you said goodbye.
I’m not broken,
But I’m bleeding.
I bleed so easily,
Running freely down my side.
Broken and dying,
I hide here
In the midst of this darkness.
This darkness that you
Cannot find me in.
Leave me,
Forgotten and alone,
I’m better off this way,
Not knowing the difference
Between love and hate.
The bitter sting of your words,
Tore down my every wall,
My very defense.
Cut to the quick,
You knew how to get the job done.
Battle worn,
Your blood-spattered sword in hand,
You killed countless others
The way you got me.
I remain here
Awaiting the trial of the dead,
Knowing it wasn’t time.
I saw your eyes…
They weren’t the same
You lost something
When you said goodbye.
Right Where I Belong
Never before
Did I ever think
I’d be blessed in this way.
Never before
Did I ever think
I’d have a peace like this.
I’d have no other,
I want nothing different.
I have the entire world
What more could there possibly be?
I prayed for light
You gave me the Sun
I prayed for happiness…
And you gave me… this.
I do not deserve this
I never even earned it.
Please don’t take this
Away from me though.
My heart bursts at the seams
Knowing this joy
In my soul.
Carried from my weakest place,
You’re hear now
To give me my strength
Help me find that light,
Help me find that wisdom,
I need your touch
To lead me home.
Did I ever think
I’d be blessed in this way.
Never before
Did I ever think
I’d have a peace like this.
I’d have no other,
I want nothing different.
I have the entire world
What more could there possibly be?
I prayed for light
You gave me the Sun
I prayed for happiness…
And you gave me… this.
I do not deserve this
I never even earned it.
Please don’t take this
Away from me though.
My heart bursts at the seams
Knowing this joy
In my soul.
Carried from my weakest place,
You’re hear now
To give me my strength
Help me find that light,
Help me find that wisdom,
I need your touch
To lead me home.
Who Let You Go?
She’s so afraid
To let me get close,
So afraid I might love her
Like she deserves.
So afraid to let me
Fall in love with her.
She’s afraid I might see
How valuable she is.
She asks how I can see
Someone so broken and ruined?
So beautiful and precious,
How can I turn my eyes
Away from one like her?
She grabbed hold of my heart,
And I won’t let her let go.
How can I make her understand?
When will she believe
She’s no longer a piece of charcoal,
But a brilliant,
Dazzling diamond…
Broken and battered,
Hurting and alone,
She has forgotten her worth,
Forgotten what love feels like.
Will she let me take her hand?
Will she let me hold her?
Will she let me show her
Her incredible value?
I pray one day
She will understand it.
I pray I may be used
In a way that she will remember
How far she’s come.
I’m here,
And I’m never leaving,
She’s no longer alone,
I’m here to ease the pain,
I’m here to help bring solace.
Will you let me help?
To let me get close,
So afraid I might love her
Like she deserves.
So afraid to let me
Fall in love with her.
She’s afraid I might see
How valuable she is.
She asks how I can see
Someone so broken and ruined?
So beautiful and precious,
How can I turn my eyes
Away from one like her?
She grabbed hold of my heart,
And I won’t let her let go.
How can I make her understand?
When will she believe
She’s no longer a piece of charcoal,
But a brilliant,
Dazzling diamond…
Broken and battered,
Hurting and alone,
She has forgotten her worth,
Forgotten what love feels like.
Will she let me take her hand?
Will she let me hold her?
Will she let me show her
Her incredible value?
I pray one day
She will understand it.
I pray I may be used
In a way that she will remember
How far she’s come.
I’m here,
And I’m never leaving,
She’s no longer alone,
I’m here to ease the pain,
I’m here to help bring solace.
Will you let me help?
Bring Me to Life
I stand here
Painting black circles
On a black canvas
Can you hear me?
This blood spattered canvas
Sings a different song
Than anything
I’ve ever sung before.
I can’t take the distance,
I can’t take this.
My paint is spilling
Across the floor,
Leaving stains
In disturbed patterns.
My mind left reeling,
I’m frozen
In this shallow reality.
Someday I will finally reach you
I wish I had help
I wish you were here.
Where did you go?
I never meant to lose you,
But I guess you were already gone
Before we even left.
The thought of this shattered reality
Leaves me tattered and torn.
Broken, I realize this is the end
I remain alone,
Forever in silence,
This is my end,
Thank you life for the colors.
Painting black circles
On a black canvas
Can you hear me?
This blood spattered canvas
Sings a different song
Than anything
I’ve ever sung before.
I can’t take the distance,
I can’t take this.
My paint is spilling
Across the floor,
Leaving stains
In disturbed patterns.
My mind left reeling,
I’m frozen
In this shallow reality.
Someday I will finally reach you
I wish I had help
I wish you were here.
Where did you go?
I never meant to lose you,
But I guess you were already gone
Before we even left.
The thought of this shattered reality
Leaves me tattered and torn.
Broken, I realize this is the end
I remain alone,
Forever in silence,
This is my end,
Thank you life for the colors.
Sometimes I Can't Make it Alone
From the moment
I saw you walk by,
I knew my life would
Never be the same.
Is it wrong to fantasize?
Is it wrong to say
You are the one from my dreams?
What is this feeling
Taking over,
My heart races
At the mere thought of you,
I gaze into your eyes,
And get lost
In everything you are.
Amazing falls short
Of describing you.
I told you to stay away,
Because there was no hope
For anyone like me,
To be with you.
Then I heard the words
That broke me down…
You told me I was
Beyond anything you ever imagined…
You told me I was valuable,
You told me
You feel like we were meant to be.
You proved to me I have worth,
Something I never felt before.
So close to giving up,
You reached out
And caught me
Before I fell.
You are beyond amazing,
Maybe one day
You will fully understand
All that you mean to me.
Until the end,
Here I am.
I saw you walk by,
I knew my life would
Never be the same.
Is it wrong to fantasize?
Is it wrong to say
You are the one from my dreams?
What is this feeling
Taking over,
My heart races
At the mere thought of you,
I gaze into your eyes,
And get lost
In everything you are.
Amazing falls short
Of describing you.
I told you to stay away,
Because there was no hope
For anyone like me,
To be with you.
Then I heard the words
That broke me down…
You told me I was
Beyond anything you ever imagined…
You told me I was valuable,
You told me
You feel like we were meant to be.
You proved to me I have worth,
Something I never felt before.
So close to giving up,
You reached out
And caught me
Before I fell.
You are beyond amazing,
Maybe one day
You will fully understand
All that you mean to me.
Until the end,
Here I am.
Fading Away
I ignored every sign
Along the way.
I wish I could go back
Maybe if I changed it,
We’d be different.
I can’t take this rift,
This has gone on
Far too long.
Hiding in fear,
I’m so afraid
To see your face…
Forget I said anything
Forget I even exist
The blood is flowing freely now
There is no escape,
I hear your scream
You cannot believe
What I’ve done.
I’m losing control,
I can’t see
What is hiding in front of me.
Crimson stains
Across my heart,
The blade was driven deep
Long ago.
We stood no chance
The game was over
Before it ever began,
I’m sorry
I’m not everything you
Ever dreamed of
I’ll submit to the
Failure that I have become.
I’m tired of the silence,
I’m tired of the pain,
Forgive me for giving in,
Forgive me for being so weak.
Along the way.
I wish I could go back
Maybe if I changed it,
We’d be different.
I can’t take this rift,
This has gone on
Far too long.
Hiding in fear,
I’m so afraid
To see your face…
Forget I said anything
Forget I even exist
The blood is flowing freely now
There is no escape,
I hear your scream
You cannot believe
What I’ve done.
I’m losing control,
I can’t see
What is hiding in front of me.
Crimson stains
Across my heart,
The blade was driven deep
Long ago.
We stood no chance
The game was over
Before it ever began,
I’m sorry
I’m not everything you
Ever dreamed of
I’ll submit to the
Failure that I have become.
I’m tired of the silence,
I’m tired of the pain,
Forgive me for giving in,
Forgive me for being so weak.
Storm the Gates of Hell
Throw your hands up
Get them in the air
This is a revolution,
We’re taking over.
Reclaiming what
Once was ours,
This is my Father’s world.
Laying waste
To all that has corrupted
The minds of our youth.
You want to make a difference?
Get your hands up
Start in your heart,
This war starts
In your soul.
I’m done hiding
I’m done living in fear,
If this is what it takes
To reclaim this world
Then here I come.
Through all the pain and sorrow
I’m done wasting away.
You ready to make a difference?
Get your hands up in the air
Let’s get out there,
Let’s show them
What we’re made of.
I’m gone,
I’m out the door
See if you can keep up.
Get them in the air
This is a revolution,
We’re taking over.
Reclaiming what
Once was ours,
This is my Father’s world.
Laying waste
To all that has corrupted
The minds of our youth.
You want to make a difference?
Get your hands up
Start in your heart,
This war starts
In your soul.
I’m done hiding
I’m done living in fear,
If this is what it takes
To reclaim this world
Then here I come.
Through all the pain and sorrow
I’m done wasting away.
You ready to make a difference?
Get your hands up in the air
Let’s get out there,
Let’s show them
What we’re made of.
I’m gone,
I’m out the door
See if you can keep up.
Emotionless
I cannot cry,
For the tears
Will never stop.
I cannot be happy
For I know
All you see
Is my weakness.
I cannot laugh
Because you say
There is no reason
To be so happy
Not everything is funny.
If I smile
You see the scars.
If I speak
You hear the pain.
If I look at you,
You see the struggle.
There is no place to turn
No place to hide.
Where can I go
To finally let go,
And be myself?
At a loss for words,
I bury myself here.
Leave me alone,
For you are ashamed
After looking at me.
I cannot make you proud,
I cannot make you happy.
I cannot even
Make you feel anger.
I am useless,
I need the freedom to feel.
For the tears
Will never stop.
I cannot be happy
For I know
All you see
Is my weakness.
I cannot laugh
Because you say
There is no reason
To be so happy
Not everything is funny.
If I smile
You see the scars.
If I speak
You hear the pain.
If I look at you,
You see the struggle.
There is no place to turn
No place to hide.
Where can I go
To finally let go,
And be myself?
At a loss for words,
I bury myself here.
Leave me alone,
For you are ashamed
After looking at me.
I cannot make you proud,
I cannot make you happy.
I cannot even
Make you feel anger.
I am useless,
I need the freedom to feel.
Scream
I looked into your eyes
I have never been so scared
I saw nothing…
Emptiness in your eyes.
You aren’t the person
You once were.
Once so full of life
Now there is only
Malice and hatred
Bitterness and revenge
Bloodlust and rage.
I thought I knew you…
What we once were,
Is no longer.
You called me a friend,
Clearly you had other intentions.
How could I be so blind,
To not see this fire?
Hidden behind your smile
Is a tongue that
Is sharper than any blade
It can pierce
Even the strongest heart,
And lay waste to all hope.
Your heart is a graveyard,
Devoid of all life,
Anyone who draws near,
You lure them to their death.
Fear…
I’ve never known such fear.
I have never been so scared
I saw nothing…
Emptiness in your eyes.
You aren’t the person
You once were.
Once so full of life
Now there is only
Malice and hatred
Bitterness and revenge
Bloodlust and rage.
I thought I knew you…
What we once were,
Is no longer.
You called me a friend,
Clearly you had other intentions.
How could I be so blind,
To not see this fire?
Hidden behind your smile
Is a tongue that
Is sharper than any blade
It can pierce
Even the strongest heart,
And lay waste to all hope.
Your heart is a graveyard,
Devoid of all life,
Anyone who draws near,
You lure them to their death.
Fear…
I’ve never known such fear.
How It Feels (To be with You)
Freedom.
Sweet freedom.
You will never know
Just how much
You mean to me.
I can be myself
Completely myself,
And know that it won’t
Change how you see me.
You see me for who I am,
Not what I’ve done.
I can’t begin to express
All that you mean you me.
I can hold you in my arms,
And know that no matter what
Everything will be ok.
You bring comfort
And enable me to move on.
I feel safe and secure
When we are together.
No longer chained down,
No longer stressed
I look into your eyes,
And suddenly
My burden is lifted.
Sweet freedom.
You will never know
Just how much
You mean to me.
I can be myself
Completely myself,
And know that it won’t
Change how you see me.
You see me for who I am,
Not what I’ve done.
I can’t begin to express
All that you mean you me.
I can hold you in my arms,
And know that no matter what
Everything will be ok.
You bring comfort
And enable me to move on.
I feel safe and secure
When we are together.
No longer chained down,
No longer stressed
I look into your eyes,
And suddenly
My burden is lifted.
Cry
I need to let this out
I just want to let go
Maybe the feeling
Of tears streaming
Down my face
Will erase this pain
Ease the sorrow.
Every mistake
Tormenting me daily
Flashing their horrible
Faces in my mind.
I can’t forget
They won’t let me.
I want peace,
But I fear I will
Never feel it,
At least not today.
Leave me alone,
I’ll make it on my own
I’ve made it every time before,
You were never there
In the first place
What makes you think
I need you now?
Let me go,
I will only be worse off,
I can’t let you in,
I’m afraid of more pain.
I can’t bear this loss.
I just want to let go
Maybe the feeling
Of tears streaming
Down my face
Will erase this pain
Ease the sorrow.
Every mistake
Tormenting me daily
Flashing their horrible
Faces in my mind.
I can’t forget
They won’t let me.
I want peace,
But I fear I will
Never feel it,
At least not today.
Leave me alone,
I’ll make it on my own
I’ve made it every time before,
You were never there
In the first place
What makes you think
I need you now?
Let me go,
I will only be worse off,
I can’t let you in,
I’m afraid of more pain.
I can’t bear this loss.
Burn
Failure wasn’t ever an option,
But now it is my only choice left.
Leave me now
While you still have the chance.
Leave before I break your heart
Like I know I will.
Nothing I do
Ever ends right
I only know failure.
You know I love you
And that is why
I can’t have you.
Because whomever I love
Ends up getting burned the worst.
I swore I’d protect you
I know now that is impossible.
I’m too weak,
I’m useless.
I am incapable of
Giving you all you deserve.
I gaze into your eyes
And wonder what you ever saw in me.
I can see it in your eyes…
You refuse to give up on me…
I won’t be able to live with myself
Knowing I hurt you.
Please, forgive me
For being a failure
For not being
Everything that you ever wanted
Everything that you ever needed.
I’ve tried,
And I continue to try…
But I am not worthy
To be as close to you
As you want me to be…
You are perfect.
I love you,
You know that,
Never forget it,
But know that I
Will never be perfect.
And I can’t bear to see you hurt.
Maybe that’s why you love me…
Because I’m weak
Because I’m in love with you
Because I know I’m not good enough…
Maybe we are meant for each other,
Maybe…
But I just don’t know.
I only know that I can’t bear
To see you hurt,
Especially not because of me.
But now it is my only choice left.
Leave me now
While you still have the chance.
Leave before I break your heart
Like I know I will.
Nothing I do
Ever ends right
I only know failure.
You know I love you
And that is why
I can’t have you.
Because whomever I love
Ends up getting burned the worst.
I swore I’d protect you
I know now that is impossible.
I’m too weak,
I’m useless.
I am incapable of
Giving you all you deserve.
I gaze into your eyes
And wonder what you ever saw in me.
I can see it in your eyes…
You refuse to give up on me…
I won’t be able to live with myself
Knowing I hurt you.
Please, forgive me
For being a failure
For not being
Everything that you ever wanted
Everything that you ever needed.
I’ve tried,
And I continue to try…
But I am not worthy
To be as close to you
As you want me to be…
You are perfect.
I love you,
You know that,
Never forget it,
But know that I
Will never be perfect.
And I can’t bear to see you hurt.
Maybe that’s why you love me…
Because I’m weak
Because I’m in love with you
Because I know I’m not good enough…
Maybe we are meant for each other,
Maybe…
But I just don’t know.
I only know that I can’t bear
To see you hurt,
Especially not because of me.
Your Guardian Angel
I hold you here
Close to my heart
To protect you
To save you
I need you,
I want you
You’re here now,
Don’t leave me.
I’ve never known this before
I know it now
And I will never forget.
In my arms
I guard your heart
I protect your soul
I long to be
Your knight in armor.
I lay my life down
To protect your name.
You mean more
Than the world to me
You have me
Here forever
I will never leave you
Never
Never again will you be alone
Never again will you be lonely
You will never fear
For I am your protector
Till the day I die,
You are mine.
Close to my heart
To protect you
To save you
I need you,
I want you
You’re here now,
Don’t leave me.
I’ve never known this before
I know it now
And I will never forget.
In my arms
I guard your heart
I protect your soul
I long to be
Your knight in armor.
I lay my life down
To protect your name.
You mean more
Than the world to me
You have me
Here forever
I will never leave you
Never
Never again will you be alone
Never again will you be lonely
You will never fear
For I am your protector
Till the day I die,
You are mine.
Confessions of Hatred
I want this pain
I need to feel
I need to know
That I’m still alive
Waiting,
Breathing,
Praying
For you to come.
Will you save me?
Or will you leave me to die
Just like everyone else
Before you
I swore I was done
This game with the devil
Holding my heart in my hand
I never thought
I’d lose again,
Suffering
Just to know
I am still
In the land
Of the living.
Unneeded for so long
What does love taste like?
Does it even exist?
Stone cold
My heart falls
As a rock
To the ground,
Not knowing
What true life feels like.
I’m done
I’m calling it quits
I accept my defeat,
I bear these chains,
Knowing I’m condemned.
Goodbye, O my soul.
I need to feel
I need to know
That I’m still alive
Waiting,
Breathing,
Praying
For you to come.
Will you save me?
Or will you leave me to die
Just like everyone else
Before you
I swore I was done
This game with the devil
Holding my heart in my hand
I never thought
I’d lose again,
Suffering
Just to know
I am still
In the land
Of the living.
Unneeded for so long
What does love taste like?
Does it even exist?
Stone cold
My heart falls
As a rock
To the ground,
Not knowing
What true life feels like.
I’m done
I’m calling it quits
I accept my defeat,
I bear these chains,
Knowing I’m condemned.
Goodbye, O my soul.
Temporary
Sitting here,
Desperate
Dying to be needed.
You are holding out
Your hand to me
I stretch,
But I just can’t reach you.
Inadequacy is unbearable.
I’m the only one
Who can save you,
But I can’t…
I’m useless.
Tattered and torn
I’m lost in the present
Unsure of where to turn
You need to be saved
But I can’t reach you.
You’re slipping…
Grab my arm..
I need you,
Don’t leave me
Don’t you dare give up.
Tears stream down my face
As I look into your eyes
And see the resolve
You knew this would be the end
Yet you brought us both here
Better you than me right?
That’s not how this game is played.
God,
Give me the strength I need.
Don’t let this be the end,
It can’t be the end.
I swear you let go,
I’m coming with you.
Now reach harder for my hand
I know you can reach me.
Safe in my arms
You’ll stay forever,
Never again,
Will I ever let you go.
Desperate
Dying to be needed.
You are holding out
Your hand to me
I stretch,
But I just can’t reach you.
Inadequacy is unbearable.
I’m the only one
Who can save you,
But I can’t…
I’m useless.
Tattered and torn
I’m lost in the present
Unsure of where to turn
You need to be saved
But I can’t reach you.
You’re slipping…
Grab my arm..
I need you,
Don’t leave me
Don’t you dare give up.
Tears stream down my face
As I look into your eyes
And see the resolve
You knew this would be the end
Yet you brought us both here
Better you than me right?
That’s not how this game is played.
God,
Give me the strength I need.
Don’t let this be the end,
It can’t be the end.
I swear you let go,
I’m coming with you.
Now reach harder for my hand
I know you can reach me.
Safe in my arms
You’ll stay forever,
Never again,
Will I ever let you go.
Something Real
Just a smile
Keeps me alive
Just a touch
Fills me up.
I hold on tight
To every memory with you.
Loved beyond imagination,
You blow my mind.
Not a second goes by
I’m not thankful
For you being in my life.
You amaze me continually.
I hold you tight
Not wanting this moment
To ever end.
My world just stops
When I hold you close
No one else matters
When you are in my arms.
It’s just you and me,
And I would have it
No other way.
I will never let go,
I’ve held you for this long,
To lose you
Would be to lose
A part of my soul.
Can I keep you?
Keeps me alive
Just a touch
Fills me up.
I hold on tight
To every memory with you.
Loved beyond imagination,
You blow my mind.
Not a second goes by
I’m not thankful
For you being in my life.
You amaze me continually.
I hold you tight
Not wanting this moment
To ever end.
My world just stops
When I hold you close
No one else matters
When you are in my arms.
It’s just you and me,
And I would have it
No other way.
I will never let go,
I’ve held you for this long,
To lose you
Would be to lose
A part of my soul.
Can I keep you?
Lose Control
Caught between two masks
I’ve lost touch
With who I am.
Nowhere to run
Nowhere to turn
I don’t know who to trust
I don’t even know
How to trust anymore.
I stand
Broken
Wishing for someone
Anyone
Yet I still find myself
Unable and unwilling
To trust anyone.
Can you help me?
Can you save me?
Help me to reconnect.
Help me to remember
Who I really am
What I’m supposed to be
Help me to learn to trust
To truly trust you
Once again.
I’ve lost touch
With who I am.
Nowhere to run
Nowhere to turn
I don’t know who to trust
I don’t even know
How to trust anymore.
I stand
Broken
Wishing for someone
Anyone
Yet I still find myself
Unable and unwilling
To trust anyone.
Can you help me?
Can you save me?
Help me to reconnect.
Help me to remember
Who I really am
What I’m supposed to be
Help me to learn to trust
To truly trust you
Once again.
This Time
I’ve been in bondage
For so long,
My hands
Bear the scars of
A lifetime of wear.
I cannot remember
What it feels like
To be free.
Destitute
And broken,
I lie here
Battered
And bruised.
The very place
I was left.
Forgotten
Forsaken
Unwanted
Unneeded
I remain here
Forgive me.
I remain
A faded memory
In your mind
Forget me
I never meant to hurt you
These are the chains
I placed on my own hands
The moment
I hurt you
I lie here
Condemned and defeated
Knowing what I deserve.
Forgive me,
This is not
What I ever meant to do.
I’m not the victim
I’m not the abused
I’m simply the forgotten.
For so long,
My hands
Bear the scars of
A lifetime of wear.
I cannot remember
What it feels like
To be free.
Destitute
And broken,
I lie here
Battered
And bruised.
The very place
I was left.
Forgotten
Forsaken
Unwanted
Unneeded
I remain here
Forgive me.
I remain
A faded memory
In your mind
Forget me
I never meant to hurt you
These are the chains
I placed on my own hands
The moment
I hurt you
I lie here
Condemned and defeated
Knowing what I deserve.
Forgive me,
This is not
What I ever meant to do.
I’m not the victim
I’m not the abused
I’m simply the forgotten.
Weight of the World
I’m weak.
So what?
No, I’m not a rock,
I cry.
I feel.
I bleed.
I’ve lost touch
With the man
I’m supposed to be.
Strong,
Tough,
Emotionless,
Unshakeable.
I can’t take the shame,
I can’t take the guilt
That you lay upon me
Day after day.
I’m hurting,
And yet all you see
Is what I’ve done.
See me for who I am NOW.
I’ve changed,
I’ve moved on.
I’m not who I once was.
I’m trapped in the image
Of what you want me to be.
Hollowed out
I am obviously
Nothing more
Than what you
Have shaped me to be.
You hate me for my emotions
You hate me for my heart
What is this hatred in you?
And why are you
Trying to place it within me?
So what?
No, I’m not a rock,
I cry.
I feel.
I bleed.
I’ve lost touch
With the man
I’m supposed to be.
Strong,
Tough,
Emotionless,
Unshakeable.
I can’t take the shame,
I can’t take the guilt
That you lay upon me
Day after day.
I’m hurting,
And yet all you see
Is what I’ve done.
See me for who I am NOW.
I’ve changed,
I’ve moved on.
I’m not who I once was.
I’m trapped in the image
Of what you want me to be.
Hollowed out
I am obviously
Nothing more
Than what you
Have shaped me to be.
You hate me for my emotions
You hate me for my heart
What is this hatred in you?
And why are you
Trying to place it within me?
Backstabber
Silent rage
Quiet pain
Broken solitude
Broken heart
Lost in the nothingness
That I am
Reduced
To a grain of sand
Not even a speck
In the cosmos
It can’t be
This huge
But my screams
Must be heard
My broken heart
Must be felt
My death
Must be seen
My loss
Must be understood
I wanted to feel whole
I wanted to be there
You shot me
Straight through the heart
There must be
Something more to this
Something I cannot see
Something I missed
But no
There isn’t
Plain faced
You deceived me
You liar
You deceiver
You backstabber
You broke my trust
Never again
Quiet pain
Broken solitude
Broken heart
Lost in the nothingness
That I am
Reduced
To a grain of sand
Not even a speck
In the cosmos
It can’t be
This huge
But my screams
Must be heard
My broken heart
Must be felt
My death
Must be seen
My loss
Must be understood
I wanted to feel whole
I wanted to be there
You shot me
Straight through the heart
There must be
Something more to this
Something I cannot see
Something I missed
But no
There isn’t
Plain faced
You deceived me
You liar
You deceiver
You backstabber
You broke my trust
Never again
Black Fire
Trapped in the middle
Somewhere far and in between
I want to scream
I’m trapped,
There is no way out
If I scream
You might know
Something’s wrong.
If I stay quiet
Than nothing has changed
I’m still the weak one
And I’m still going to burn
I’ve taken this loss
I count it twice.
You will know the end
Because it is coming
Faster than you know.
You call me a friend
Yet you showed me hell
Faster than any
Enemy I’ve ever had.
I’ve seen the end
I’ve seen your end,
And somewhere
Our paths intertwine
And that will be the end
The end of you
I’ve had enough
This time it’s done.
Too much loss
Too much pain
Tonight,
This is the end.
Somewhere far and in between
I want to scream
I’m trapped,
There is no way out
If I scream
You might know
Something’s wrong.
If I stay quiet
Than nothing has changed
I’m still the weak one
And I’m still going to burn
I’ve taken this loss
I count it twice.
You will know the end
Because it is coming
Faster than you know.
You call me a friend
Yet you showed me hell
Faster than any
Enemy I’ve ever had.
I’ve seen the end
I’ve seen your end,
And somewhere
Our paths intertwine
And that will be the end
The end of you
I’ve had enough
This time it’s done.
Too much loss
Too much pain
Tonight,
This is the end.
Bullet with A Name on it
Soldier without a cause
I’ve lost my reason
To fight this war.
Everything I once
Held close,
Has fallen away
And left me desolate.
Pain,
Fear,
Sorrow
Have driven me
To this point
Of no return.
I swore I’d protect you
Till the day I die,
But I held you
As I watched you die
In my arms.
I saw you get hit…
I returned fire,
And took out
That monster that shot you.
I pray you went quick.
I pray you didn’t suffer.
With a tear-stained face,
With the glint of rage in my eye,
I will win
I will not lose,
Failure is not an option,
With you now only in my heart,
I will carry on,
And be victorious.
Lend me the strength
Of your spirit.
I will never forget you,
My memory of you
Will never fade.
I’ve lost my reason
To fight this war.
Everything I once
Held close,
Has fallen away
And left me desolate.
Pain,
Fear,
Sorrow
Have driven me
To this point
Of no return.
I swore I’d protect you
Till the day I die,
But I held you
As I watched you die
In my arms.
I saw you get hit…
I returned fire,
And took out
That monster that shot you.
I pray you went quick.
I pray you didn’t suffer.
With a tear-stained face,
With the glint of rage in my eye,
I will win
I will not lose,
Failure is not an option,
With you now only in my heart,
I will carry on,
And be victorious.
Lend me the strength
Of your spirit.
I will never forget you,
My memory of you
Will never fade.
I Am Free
They’re gone.
Oh the wonder
Of being free
How can You
Forget everything
That I’ve done?
You’ve taken them,
And thrown them
As far as the East
Is from the West
Thank you
For saving me
From my damnation
From this curse
And from an
Eternity of loneliness.
Now, I’m ensured
An eternity of security,
An eternity of love,
And life.
You know me
Better than I know myself,
You know what
I have done,
Yet you choose
To forget my past
And set me free.
Baptized in perfect love,
I am forgiven.
Thank you,
For loving me
To the point
That you would
Become a sacrifice
And free me
From my past.
Oh the wonder
Of being free
How can You
Forget everything
That I’ve done?
You’ve taken them,
And thrown them
As far as the East
Is from the West
Thank you
For saving me
From my damnation
From this curse
And from an
Eternity of loneliness.
Now, I’m ensured
An eternity of security,
An eternity of love,
And life.
You know me
Better than I know myself,
You know what
I have done,
Yet you choose
To forget my past
And set me free.
Baptized in perfect love,
I am forgiven.
Thank you,
For loving me
To the point
That you would
Become a sacrifice
And free me
From my past.
From the Inside
I want to run,
I want to be free,
I want to know
That there is nothing better
Than this right here.
I want to feel the wind
In my hair,
And your hand in mine.
I want to feel safe again
I want to be free
From any worries,
Any pain,
Any anguish.
Hold me close,
Let me know you’re here with me.
Help me to know
You will never leave me.
I need you here,
And I need you now.
The cool breeze
Blowing through our clothes,
The cool water at our feet
As we walk slowly along the shore.
I wouldn’t trade this moment
For any other
Time stands still
As I look into your eyes
Such beauty…
I’m in heaven
When I’m with you.
I want to be free,
I want to know
That there is nothing better
Than this right here.
I want to feel the wind
In my hair,
And your hand in mine.
I want to feel safe again
I want to be free
From any worries,
Any pain,
Any anguish.
Hold me close,
Let me know you’re here with me.
Help me to know
You will never leave me.
I need you here,
And I need you now.
The cool breeze
Blowing through our clothes,
The cool water at our feet
As we walk slowly along the shore.
I wouldn’t trade this moment
For any other
Time stands still
As I look into your eyes
Such beauty…
I’m in heaven
When I’m with you.
Guarded
I’m so sick and tired
Of worrying about you
All the time.
You said you trust me,
Yet you never listen.
I always have your back,
But I have to endure
Agony to get you out.
I’m in unfathomable pain
Because my heart can only
Endure so much.
My heart is tearing at the seams
And you don’t seem to care.
When I’m gone,
You’ll just have to move on
And find a new one
That can protect you
As well as I can.
My life is already spilled out
For you,
You know this better than anyone,
And no matter how this ends,
I’m always here.
I can only hope you’ll change
Even a little bit
And decide to protect
Yourself a little too.
Of worrying about you
All the time.
You said you trust me,
Yet you never listen.
I always have your back,
But I have to endure
Agony to get you out.
I’m in unfathomable pain
Because my heart can only
Endure so much.
My heart is tearing at the seams
And you don’t seem to care.
When I’m gone,
You’ll just have to move on
And find a new one
That can protect you
As well as I can.
My life is already spilled out
For you,
You know this better than anyone,
And no matter how this ends,
I’m always here.
I can only hope you’ll change
Even a little bit
And decide to protect
Yourself a little too.
Heaven
Is there something
On the other side
Of this ecstasy.
Trapped in a past
I’m not allowed to forget.
Time’s hands never
Stop moving,
Yet somehow,
The future never forgets
My past.
Time and time again
You remind me
Of every mistake,
Every wrong,
I want out
I want escape,
I want to forget.
I thought this salvation
Would remove this.
I can’t forget you
You won’t let me.
I need an escape,
But every door is closed.
I can’t see,
And I can’t feel.
Where is my light?
I lost it
When you reminded me.
Trapped in every memory,
Why can’t I get rid of you?
All you ever brought
Was pain and sorrow.
I longed for an end,
I thought I had it.
Tell me,
When will you have enough?
When will I be allowed
To finally move on,
And never remember
My hell.
On the other side
Of this ecstasy.
Trapped in a past
I’m not allowed to forget.
Time’s hands never
Stop moving,
Yet somehow,
The future never forgets
My past.
Time and time again
You remind me
Of every mistake,
Every wrong,
I want out
I want escape,
I want to forget.
I thought this salvation
Would remove this.
I can’t forget you
You won’t let me.
I need an escape,
But every door is closed.
I can’t see,
And I can’t feel.
Where is my light?
I lost it
When you reminded me.
Trapped in every memory,
Why can’t I get rid of you?
All you ever brought
Was pain and sorrow.
I longed for an end,
I thought I had it.
Tell me,
When will you have enough?
When will I be allowed
To finally move on,
And never remember
My hell.
Your's To Hold
I finally figured it out.
I figured there’s no longer
Any point in hiding it any longer.
Do you really want to know the truth?
I know you’re reading this,
Hoping for just another glimpse
Into my mind.
Well, you want to know the truth?
I want to tell you how amazing you are.
I want to tell you just
How much you’re worth.
You want to know?
You’re beyond priceless.
I long to be able
To look you in the eye
And prove to you your worth.
Guys have walked all over you,
And you sit back,
And feel worthless,
That’s all you’ve ever known.
It breaks my heart
To know the pain you’ve felt.
To have your heart wrenched
So many times.
You are afraid to trust,
Because you don’t want to get burned.
Then you start to think you’re safe again,
And then you open up one more time,
Just to be broken again.
You’ve heard it a million times,
And you want to believe me,
I can see it in your eyes.
You want to believe that I’m different.
Here. Let me prove I am.
I’m not going to say I love you,
Because I don’t know you yet.
You haven’t opened up to me yet.
Take your time, I will never leave you.
Through every pain
Every trial,
Every sorrow,
Every joy,
Every high point,
I will be right next to you,
Holding your hand
Always reminding you that I am still here.
I want to love you,
You just have to trust me
And let me in.
You swore to yourself
You would never allow anyone else near you.
I’ve been in a similar position,
But I’ve never walked the same road as you.
Let me in to your mind,
Let me love you,
Let me hold you,
Let me help you through your pain.
I can’t remove the pain,
But I can help you through it.
You may not realize it,
But I need you,
I admire you,
You call me friend,
But you don’t fully trust me.
I long to have the opportunity
To prove to you
I want nothing for you but the absolute greatest.
I’m done, this is all I wanted,
Was to tell you
No matter what you hide in your past,
No matter what is there
That you don’t want me to see,
I see you no differently.
You are perfect in every way,
Your past doesn’t change that.
All it proves is how much further you have come.
Let me in, trust me,
Maybe I can finally be the one
You’ve been searching for,
That will be there with you forever.
I’m right here, waiting.
I’m not going anywhere.
I’ll wait till you are ready.
I figured there’s no longer
Any point in hiding it any longer.
Do you really want to know the truth?
I know you’re reading this,
Hoping for just another glimpse
Into my mind.
Well, you want to know the truth?
I want to tell you how amazing you are.
I want to tell you just
How much you’re worth.
You want to know?
You’re beyond priceless.
I long to be able
To look you in the eye
And prove to you your worth.
Guys have walked all over you,
And you sit back,
And feel worthless,
That’s all you’ve ever known.
It breaks my heart
To know the pain you’ve felt.
To have your heart wrenched
So many times.
You are afraid to trust,
Because you don’t want to get burned.
Then you start to think you’re safe again,
And then you open up one more time,
Just to be broken again.
You’ve heard it a million times,
And you want to believe me,
I can see it in your eyes.
You want to believe that I’m different.
Here. Let me prove I am.
I’m not going to say I love you,
Because I don’t know you yet.
You haven’t opened up to me yet.
Take your time, I will never leave you.
Through every pain
Every trial,
Every sorrow,
Every joy,
Every high point,
I will be right next to you,
Holding your hand
Always reminding you that I am still here.
I want to love you,
You just have to trust me
And let me in.
You swore to yourself
You would never allow anyone else near you.
I’ve been in a similar position,
But I’ve never walked the same road as you.
Let me in to your mind,
Let me love you,
Let me hold you,
Let me help you through your pain.
I can’t remove the pain,
But I can help you through it.
You may not realize it,
But I need you,
I admire you,
You call me friend,
But you don’t fully trust me.
I long to have the opportunity
To prove to you
I want nothing for you but the absolute greatest.
I’m done, this is all I wanted,
Was to tell you
No matter what you hide in your past,
No matter what is there
That you don’t want me to see,
I see you no differently.
You are perfect in every way,
Your past doesn’t change that.
All it proves is how much further you have come.
Let me in, trust me,
Maybe I can finally be the one
You’ve been searching for,
That will be there with you forever.
I’m right here, waiting.
I’m not going anywhere.
I’ll wait till you are ready.
Forsaken
How could I care about
This any longer.
I hate feeling,
Feeling only leads to pain.
My hands are cold
My heart is heavy,
I don’t remember
What it feels like
To be smiled at.
To be needed
To be wanted
To care.
Too many times
I’ve been told
Far too many times
That I can be trusted
That I am easy to talk to
That I am wanted.
If this is true…
Then why am I so alone?
Alone and unneeded,
I walk this road,
I do not look back,
For it makes little difference.
I longed for just a touch,
To be told I’m the one,
But never again.
It was mere wishful thinking
To think I could be anyone’s “One”
I understand loneliness,
And I wear it upon my heart
I’ve become so numb,
I realize that it is worthless
For me to continue on in this way.
I walk along,
Beaten,
Heavy-laden,
I walk away.
I laugh at this pain,
Leave me be.
This any longer.
I hate feeling,
Feeling only leads to pain.
My hands are cold
My heart is heavy,
I don’t remember
What it feels like
To be smiled at.
To be needed
To be wanted
To care.
Too many times
I’ve been told
Far too many times
That I can be trusted
That I am easy to talk to
That I am wanted.
If this is true…
Then why am I so alone?
Alone and unneeded,
I walk this road,
I do not look back,
For it makes little difference.
I longed for just a touch,
To be told I’m the one,
But never again.
It was mere wishful thinking
To think I could be anyone’s “One”
I understand loneliness,
And I wear it upon my heart
I’ve become so numb,
I realize that it is worthless
For me to continue on in this way.
I walk along,
Beaten,
Heavy-laden,
I walk away.
I laugh at this pain,
Leave me be.
Three Hours Back
What is this fear
That has paralyzed me
I suddenly feel so alone,
And yet
I’m surrounded.
I can’t breathe
What is this pain
I can’t see
Where am I?
Where are you?
Help me,
I need you,
I’m lost,
I think I’m too far gone.
Rescue me,
If you can find me.
I am of no help,
I have been lost for so long.
I’ve been searching,
I’ve been waiting,
I’ve been longing
To reach the end.
I feel like I’ve been
Grabbing the air
For so long,
I need a way out,
Please help me,
Find me,
Save me.
I’m calling your name,
Can you hear me?
How I long to feel
The touch of life again
To feel your embrace
To know that I am loved.
Hear me,
I can see you coming…
How I love you,
Thank you for rescuing me,
My Savior.
That has paralyzed me
I suddenly feel so alone,
And yet
I’m surrounded.
I can’t breathe
What is this pain
I can’t see
Where am I?
Where are you?
Help me,
I need you,
I’m lost,
I think I’m too far gone.
Rescue me,
If you can find me.
I am of no help,
I have been lost for so long.
I’ve been searching,
I’ve been waiting,
I’ve been longing
To reach the end.
I feel like I’ve been
Grabbing the air
For so long,
I need a way out,
Please help me,
Find me,
Save me.
I’m calling your name,
Can you hear me?
How I long to feel
The touch of life again
To feel your embrace
To know that I am loved.
Hear me,
I can see you coming…
How I love you,
Thank you for rescuing me,
My Savior.
Shattered Life
Your eyes have seen hell
There is no doubt in my mind.
You’ve tasted things in this life
That you both regret and needed.
Your eyes are writing volumes of books.
They are the very gateway into your soul
You try to hide
Your hellfires from the world.
Tell me
Reveal to me
What I can do.
Is there anything?
Anything at all that I can do
To save you?
I swear by all my life
I would go to hell and back
Just to walk with you.
How can you not need anyone?
You’ve been through so much,
Take my hand,
I’m right here,
And I’m not going anywhere.
Let me hold you right here,
Let me protect you from everyone.
This trial before you will not be your last,
Let me be your strength.
Let me love you,
Please, just let me in.
There is no doubt in my mind.
You’ve tasted things in this life
That you both regret and needed.
Your eyes are writing volumes of books.
They are the very gateway into your soul
You try to hide
Your hellfires from the world.
Tell me
Reveal to me
What I can do.
Is there anything?
Anything at all that I can do
To save you?
I swear by all my life
I would go to hell and back
Just to walk with you.
How can you not need anyone?
You’ve been through so much,
Take my hand,
I’m right here,
And I’m not going anywhere.
Let me hold you right here,
Let me protect you from everyone.
This trial before you will not be your last,
Let me be your strength.
Let me love you,
Please, just let me in.
If You Could See into My Soul
I got you now
I refuse to let you go
Never before have I felt this way
My heartstrings strain
At the thought of you leaving.
Come here,
Please, and hold me tight.
I thought I had you so long ago,
But now I know
Nothing is ever sure.
Even now,
With you in my arms,
The future isn’t sure.
I know you may leave me,
But I also know you may stay.
Tell me,
If you leave,
Will you return?
Do what you need to,
But come back soon.
Maybe I need to just let you go…
You took a hit with the last,
But I swear
I will never let it happen again,
I’m different,
But I guess that’s what they all say.Let me prove it to you…
I refuse to let you go
Never before have I felt this way
My heartstrings strain
At the thought of you leaving.
Come here,
Please, and hold me tight.
I thought I had you so long ago,
But now I know
Nothing is ever sure.
Even now,
With you in my arms,
The future isn’t sure.
I know you may leave me,
But I also know you may stay.
Tell me,
If you leave,
Will you return?
Do what you need to,
But come back soon.
Maybe I need to just let you go…
You took a hit with the last,
But I swear
I will never let it happen again,
I’m different,
But I guess that’s what they all say.Let me prove it to you…
My Home
Being around you is
Like walking through electricity.
I have never known
Such joy
Such security,
Until now
You are the Cornerstone,
My very strong foundation.
My problems fade into insignificance
When I gaze into your stunning eyes.
This happiness is so new.
Each new day presents
Another brand new adventure
And I never tire of your presence.
I never cease to be amazed by you,
I never stop learning more about you,
And yet you seem to know
Every fine detail of my very existence,
I take comfort in this,
That I truly have this One
That never will leave me,
And has never left me.
The comfort in your presence is energizing.
I’m now in a place
That I never want to leave.
Never let me go,
This is where I need to be,
This is where I need to stay.Hold me tight,
This is it.
Thank you so much
For giving this life a purpose,
This is all I have ever needed,
And now I know that purpose is You.
Like walking through electricity.
I have never known
Such joy
Such security,
Until now
You are the Cornerstone,
My very strong foundation.
My problems fade into insignificance
When I gaze into your stunning eyes.
This happiness is so new.
Each new day presents
Another brand new adventure
And I never tire of your presence.
I never cease to be amazed by you,
I never stop learning more about you,
And yet you seem to know
Every fine detail of my very existence,
I take comfort in this,
That I truly have this One
That never will leave me,
And has never left me.
The comfort in your presence is energizing.
I’m now in a place
That I never want to leave.
Never let me go,
This is where I need to be,
This is where I need to stay.Hold me tight,
This is it.
Thank you so much
For giving this life a purpose,
This is all I have ever needed,
And now I know that purpose is You.
The One I've Been Waiting For
The greatest feeling
Is being alone.
Not the happy thinking alone time…
But the wretched silence
Of knowing you are alone,
And no one is coming
To be with you,
Because no one cares you are gone.
Stare into the eyes of pain
And let it take over
Let it numb you
Learn even if for a second
What it means to be alone
To not know what the presence
Of someone who loves you
Feels like.
Welcome to the void.
Welcome to your worst nightmare.
Welcome to my life.
Utter rejection at every corner,
The true pain is in what is known.
The unknown offers the slightest
Glimmer of hope,
But what is known only offers
Pain, bitterness, and tears.
I once thought I knew
What it felt like to have someone close,
But like everyone else,
They left me.
Why aren’t you gone,
Like all the others…
Why are you smiling at me?
What could such a wretch as I,
Scorned by all
Possibly be doing to make you smile?
Stay away…
You’ll be just like everyone else…
You’ll get just close enough for me to trust…
Then you’ll run my heart through,
Just like everyone else
Could you be the one?
Welcome to the unknown.
Is being alone.
Not the happy thinking alone time…
But the wretched silence
Of knowing you are alone,
And no one is coming
To be with you,
Because no one cares you are gone.
Stare into the eyes of pain
And let it take over
Let it numb you
Learn even if for a second
What it means to be alone
To not know what the presence
Of someone who loves you
Feels like.
Welcome to the void.
Welcome to your worst nightmare.
Welcome to my life.
Utter rejection at every corner,
The true pain is in what is known.
The unknown offers the slightest
Glimmer of hope,
But what is known only offers
Pain, bitterness, and tears.
I once thought I knew
What it felt like to have someone close,
But like everyone else,
They left me.
Why aren’t you gone,
Like all the others…
Why are you smiling at me?
What could such a wretch as I,
Scorned by all
Possibly be doing to make you smile?
Stay away…
You’ll be just like everyone else…
You’ll get just close enough for me to trust…
Then you’ll run my heart through,
Just like everyone else
Could you be the one?
Welcome to the unknown.
Stab My Back
Bones have become like ash,
My soul cries out.
The yearning to be needed
Though it is clear,
I never will.
The wretched path
That has been laid for me
Has never been tread upon,
I know now I am meant
To walk alone,
With no one there.
I see my hand,
Empty,
I feel my heart breaking,
Because I know I’m already gone,
No one cares,
I’m no one’s loss.
Too many pointless attempts,
It is not even worth it anymore.
I walk through
The Valley of the Shadow of Death,
And I will be consumed.
Good.
Maybe then I can rest in peace,
With no more fear,
With no more pain,
With no more betrayal,
For my God is clearly the only one,
Who never leaves me.
Leave me alone,
I’ve finally accepted my fate,
Don’t mess this up
Making me taste your unfathomable
Sting yet again.
Why do you desire to keep hurting me?
All I wanted was to be needed,
All I wanted was to make you happy,
But you chose to kill me instead,
And told me there was no way.
Fine.
All I wanted was the best for you.
My soul cries out.
The yearning to be needed
Though it is clear,
I never will.
The wretched path
That has been laid for me
Has never been tread upon,
I know now I am meant
To walk alone,
With no one there.
I see my hand,
Empty,
I feel my heart breaking,
Because I know I’m already gone,
No one cares,
I’m no one’s loss.
Too many pointless attempts,
It is not even worth it anymore.
I walk through
The Valley of the Shadow of Death,
And I will be consumed.
Good.
Maybe then I can rest in peace,
With no more fear,
With no more pain,
With no more betrayal,
For my God is clearly the only one,
Who never leaves me.
Leave me alone,
I’ve finally accepted my fate,
Don’t mess this up
Making me taste your unfathomable
Sting yet again.
Why do you desire to keep hurting me?
All I wanted was to be needed,
All I wanted was to make you happy,
But you chose to kill me instead,
And told me there was no way.
Fine.
All I wanted was the best for you.
Wasted and Haunted
I can’t take the lies
And the deception any longer.
What did you mean when you said that?
Surely you don’t truly want me to die…
Otherwise you’d do it yourself.
Can’t contain this any longer,
I need to let this out.
The beast is no longer tame,
He has learned to be wild once more.
I want this to end,
I need this to end.
I need to know,
I want to understand.
Why does this have to be so difficult?
It always is.
I cannot grasp the meaning of easy,
What is it?
I certainly have never tasted it.
Yeah, you say you’re an open book,
Well, obviously you never told anyone
About your book covers
That you hide behind constantly.
The book covers that no one can even see.
You learned to hide them too well,
Even from me,
The one you claim to trust.
Thanks,
That is what a true stab in the heart feels like,
I’ve felt that one too many times,
I thought with you it would be different.
Guess not.
And the deception any longer.
What did you mean when you said that?
Surely you don’t truly want me to die…
Otherwise you’d do it yourself.
Can’t contain this any longer,
I need to let this out.
The beast is no longer tame,
He has learned to be wild once more.
I want this to end,
I need this to end.
I need to know,
I want to understand.
Why does this have to be so difficult?
It always is.
I cannot grasp the meaning of easy,
What is it?
I certainly have never tasted it.
Yeah, you say you’re an open book,
Well, obviously you never told anyone
About your book covers
That you hide behind constantly.
The book covers that no one can even see.
You learned to hide them too well,
Even from me,
The one you claim to trust.
Thanks,
That is what a true stab in the heart feels like,
I’ve felt that one too many times,
I thought with you it would be different.
Guess not.
A Beautiful Lie
I long to return
To where we once were.
To the point where
I could hold you
And tell you everything would be alright.
To the point where
I had a shoulder to cry on.
To the point where
We trusted one another.
But I fear those nights are gone.
Those nights feeling your soft embrace
Those nights of knowing I’m loved
Those nights of feeling needed.
Were they only a lie?
Am I just a puppet that you used?
I don’t want to believe that.
I refuse to believe it.
You are the one I want,
I’ve never felt like this before.
What is this feeling that has taken over me?
Is this what love feels like?
Is this what it feels like to be loved?
This feeling is so new…
So energizing…
And now I think you want to take it away.
What did I do?
Tell me this isn’t the end,
Tell me we’ll make it through.
You may not need me,
But I need you more than ever now.
My life is crashing down around me,
And no one is there to break my fall.
Not even you…
I never lied when I told you
You mean the world to me.
Did you lie to me?
To where we once were.
To the point where
I could hold you
And tell you everything would be alright.
To the point where
I had a shoulder to cry on.
To the point where
We trusted one another.
But I fear those nights are gone.
Those nights feeling your soft embrace
Those nights of knowing I’m loved
Those nights of feeling needed.
Were they only a lie?
Am I just a puppet that you used?
I don’t want to believe that.
I refuse to believe it.
You are the one I want,
I’ve never felt like this before.
What is this feeling that has taken over me?
Is this what love feels like?
Is this what it feels like to be loved?
This feeling is so new…
So energizing…
And now I think you want to take it away.
What did I do?
Tell me this isn’t the end,
Tell me we’ll make it through.
You may not need me,
But I need you more than ever now.
My life is crashing down around me,
And no one is there to break my fall.
Not even you…
I never lied when I told you
You mean the world to me.
Did you lie to me?
It's Over
I hold it tight
To try and keep it
From spilling all over the floor.
But my heart…
It is breaking…
And it just won’t stop.
What I once held dear,
Is now crashing down around me.
I realize my stock,
Was in something never attainable.
Why do I shoot for the stars,
When I know I can’t even
Get what is two feet in front of me?
I can’t take this anymore.
I wish to be done with this masquerade.
I try to hold back the tears,
But there is no use in fighting it anymore.
You’re gone,
Or at least leaving,
So what does it matter anymore.
I scream,
But no one hears me.
I cry,
And everyone laughs at me.
I die,
And no one notices.
Is this really what I get
For trying to love you?
I thought it was done,
I thought my silent war
Was coming to a close,
But I guess it will never end…
I guess that’s just how
It will always be.
Goodbye to the pain.
Goodbye to the memories.
Goodbye my dear,
I loved you,
But I guess it
Wasn’t good enough for you,
But nothing I ever did
Ever was good enough for you,
Was it?
To try and keep it
From spilling all over the floor.
But my heart…
It is breaking…
And it just won’t stop.
What I once held dear,
Is now crashing down around me.
I realize my stock,
Was in something never attainable.
Why do I shoot for the stars,
When I know I can’t even
Get what is two feet in front of me?
I can’t take this anymore.
I wish to be done with this masquerade.
I try to hold back the tears,
But there is no use in fighting it anymore.
You’re gone,
Or at least leaving,
So what does it matter anymore.
I scream,
But no one hears me.
I cry,
And everyone laughs at me.
I die,
And no one notices.
Is this really what I get
For trying to love you?
I thought it was done,
I thought my silent war
Was coming to a close,
But I guess it will never end…
I guess that’s just how
It will always be.
Goodbye to the pain.
Goodbye to the memories.
Goodbye my dear,
I loved you,
But I guess it
Wasn’t good enough for you,
But nothing I ever did
Ever was good enough for you,
Was it?
Mirror
This is who I really am,
The mask pulled back.
I’m tired of hiding,
I’m tired of running.
You said you want to know me
Really know me,
Well, here you go.
I hate the real me,
The real me is weak,
The real me is emotional,
The real me is afraid,
The real me cannot protect you,
Protect you the way I want to.
But the me that everyone else sees…
That me,
Can protect you,
Is strong,
Is tough,
Is fearless.
Now is the decision time.
Which is the real one?
Can you accept me for who I really am?
Or are you stuck with the image
I can put on?
If you cannot accept the real me,
Then I’ll go back to being fake
And unreal,
Like I always have.
I’ve grown accustomed
To being fake,
so this will be nothing new.
I actually expect you to choose
The fake identity,
For that is where
The true security lies.
Choose carefully.
I may lose myself forever.
The mask pulled back.
I’m tired of hiding,
I’m tired of running.
You said you want to know me
Really know me,
Well, here you go.
I hate the real me,
The real me is weak,
The real me is emotional,
The real me is afraid,
The real me cannot protect you,
Protect you the way I want to.
But the me that everyone else sees…
That me,
Can protect you,
Is strong,
Is tough,
Is fearless.
Now is the decision time.
Which is the real one?
Can you accept me for who I really am?
Or are you stuck with the image
I can put on?
If you cannot accept the real me,
Then I’ll go back to being fake
And unreal,
Like I always have.
I’ve grown accustomed
To being fake,
so this will be nothing new.
I actually expect you to choose
The fake identity,
For that is where
The true security lies.
Choose carefully.
I may lose myself forever.
Hero
Pain of the unknown
The darkness of despair,
The cloud never fades
The light never shines here,
So don’t be surprised
When there is no happiness,
No joy,
No love.
I found the lock,
But the key burned
In the flames of your lust.
Now I can never be saved,
You can never be rescued.
How long do you desire to
Keep me at bay,
Making sure I cannot save you?
How I long to come to your side,
And fight all your demons,
And guard you in every way,
And yet…
You deny me that opportunity.
Do you truly not want to be protected?
Do you really want to die,
To fail,
To be ruined,
I truly hope not,
Let me protect you,
I’m always here,
I’ve never left.
The darkness of despair,
The cloud never fades
The light never shines here,
So don’t be surprised
When there is no happiness,
No joy,
No love.
I found the lock,
But the key burned
In the flames of your lust.
Now I can never be saved,
You can never be rescued.
How long do you desire to
Keep me at bay,
Making sure I cannot save you?
How I long to come to your side,
And fight all your demons,
And guard you in every way,
And yet…
You deny me that opportunity.
Do you truly not want to be protected?
Do you really want to die,
To fail,
To be ruined,
I truly hope not,
Let me protect you,
I’m always here,
I’ve never left.
Bittersweet
Here it is,
I just want to give up
I just want to admit defeat
And walk away.
But I’m constantly brought back
To this point.
Why won’t this end?
I thought it was just a game,
Though clearly this is more.
I can’t take this madness anymore,
Make this end.
Cut the rope,
Let me fall,
Let this be the end.
Drag me to the depths,
I’ve already accepted this,
I can’t take this anymore!
LET THIS END!
How much longer
Must you watch me
Suffer like this,
With your unrelenting smirk?
Clearly victory is not your aim
Do you truly want destruction?
We once were the strongest and tightest,
Now…
That is no more
I am nothing more than your
Bitter enemy that you
Wish to erase from the minds of everyone.
So be it.
Goodbye.
I just want to give up
I just want to admit defeat
And walk away.
But I’m constantly brought back
To this point.
Why won’t this end?
I thought it was just a game,
Though clearly this is more.
I can’t take this madness anymore,
Make this end.
Cut the rope,
Let me fall,
Let this be the end.
Drag me to the depths,
I’ve already accepted this,
I can’t take this anymore!
LET THIS END!
How much longer
Must you watch me
Suffer like this,
With your unrelenting smirk?
Clearly victory is not your aim
Do you truly want destruction?
We once were the strongest and tightest,
Now…
That is no more
I am nothing more than your
Bitter enemy that you
Wish to erase from the minds of everyone.
So be it.
Goodbye.
On A Valentine's Day
I can’t contain this anymore
I’m worthless.
I am utterly worthless,
I’m lost,
Has anyone found me?
Please tell me when you have.
I’m a sham,
I’m a shell of what I once was.
I once was so sure of myself,
I knew who I was,
I knew what I was doing,
I knew where I was going.
Now look at what I’ve become.
This broken mess,
Dying and bleeding on the floor.
I’ve lost what I once knew,
I’ve lost all I held dear,
I don’t know what the future holds
I don’t even want to know
Because it doesn’t matter to me.
Put me out of my misery,
This has gone on for far too long.
I’m empty inside,
And have forgotten
What it feels like to be whole.
I’ve been slowly dying for so long,
And now this is finally the end.
Now I can finally rest in peace
In my own silent abyss.
Into darkness to I fall…
And there will I remain
Forever.
I’m worthless.
I am utterly worthless,
I’m lost,
Has anyone found me?
Please tell me when you have.
I’m a sham,
I’m a shell of what I once was.
I once was so sure of myself,
I knew who I was,
I knew what I was doing,
I knew where I was going.
Now look at what I’ve become.
This broken mess,
Dying and bleeding on the floor.
I’ve lost what I once knew,
I’ve lost all I held dear,
I don’t know what the future holds
I don’t even want to know
Because it doesn’t matter to me.
Put me out of my misery,
This has gone on for far too long.
I’m empty inside,
And have forgotten
What it feels like to be whole.
I’ve been slowly dying for so long,
And now this is finally the end.
Now I can finally rest in peace
In my own silent abyss.
Into darkness to I fall…
And there will I remain
Forever.
Confession
I can’t take this anymore
I gotta get this off my chest.
I can’t live this lie anymore
I gotta shout this from a mountain top.
I haven’t know you long
And yet,
I know I need you.
I can’t take it
Because I know you’re already gone.
You are beyond my grasp,
And I know now that I can never have you.
Oh… this pain in my chest..
This heartache will be the end.
You are beautiful beyond compare.
Just a touch from you
Fills my inside
And makes me feel worth something.
All I want is to be with you,
Now that you’re already gone,
My heart is freezing…
It is becoming as stone.
Only you hold the key,
To bring life back to this
Ruined mess.
I know I can’t have you,
So I wish you the best on your way.
Though I will never stop asking
The question of how it could
Have been different.
What could I do differently…
It cannot be helped,
There is no hope.
“God,
Help me to move on,
And understand this is part of the plan.
Teach me
How to love again.”
Can I love you,
Though you’re already gone?
It breaks my heart
To know that this is the end,
But there is nothing I can do.
I’ve lost.
I gotta get this off my chest.
I can’t live this lie anymore
I gotta shout this from a mountain top.
I haven’t know you long
And yet,
I know I need you.
I can’t take it
Because I know you’re already gone.
You are beyond my grasp,
And I know now that I can never have you.
Oh… this pain in my chest..
This heartache will be the end.
You are beautiful beyond compare.
Just a touch from you
Fills my inside
And makes me feel worth something.
All I want is to be with you,
Now that you’re already gone,
My heart is freezing…
It is becoming as stone.
Only you hold the key,
To bring life back to this
Ruined mess.
I know I can’t have you,
So I wish you the best on your way.
Though I will never stop asking
The question of how it could
Have been different.
What could I do differently…
It cannot be helped,
There is no hope.
“God,
Help me to move on,
And understand this is part of the plan.
Teach me
How to love again.”
Can I love you,
Though you’re already gone?
It breaks my heart
To know that this is the end,
But there is nothing I can do.
I’ve lost.
Fearless
Sing it,
Take it to your grave.
Hold on,
Like you’ve never held before.
Break this down,
Never forget.
Always remember
Where it started.
You haven’t seen the end yet,
And I never want to.
Oh to go back
To the beginning,
And never return.
Never look back,
Never regret.
This has happened for a reason,
It has to be for good.
Should have seen this coming,
Overjoyed
We started.
I can’t contain myself
I won’t let this end.
Oh to scream this
From the mountain top,
No one will ever forget.
Let’s go.
Together,
Let’s make the difference.
Let’s dive
Head first,
And never look back.
We’re in this together,
And that’s all
We’ve ever needed.
Take it to your grave.
Hold on,
Like you’ve never held before.
Break this down,
Never forget.
Always remember
Where it started.
You haven’t seen the end yet,
And I never want to.
Oh to go back
To the beginning,
And never return.
Never look back,
Never regret.
This has happened for a reason,
It has to be for good.
Should have seen this coming,
Overjoyed
We started.
I can’t contain myself
I won’t let this end.
Oh to scream this
From the mountain top,
No one will ever forget.
Let’s go.
Together,
Let’s make the difference.
Let’s dive
Head first,
And never look back.
We’re in this together,
And that’s all
We’ve ever needed.
Hunter
Cut the safety lines,
Never latch on again.
What is this beast
That is taking over me.
Death and destruction
Lie in my wake.
Get away from me!!
I hate this monster I’ve become.
Kill me
Burn me
Destroy me
Before I destroy all I once loved
And held close to my heart.
RUN!
Can’t you understand?
Nothing can heal me
I’m lost in the wickedness
Of my past,
And I can’t escape.
Please,
Death is such a sweet escape,
When all I can do is destroy
Doomsday, welcome me
In your grasp.
Make this be the end.
Bring Armageddon,
Bring my death.
Please.
I’m dying anyway,
With every beautiful thing
I crush.
If I touch you…
May I die before I get near you.
You are far too precious…
Forget me,
And GET AWAY!!!
Never latch on again.
What is this beast
That is taking over me.
Death and destruction
Lie in my wake.
Get away from me!!
I hate this monster I’ve become.
Kill me
Burn me
Destroy me
Before I destroy all I once loved
And held close to my heart.
RUN!
Can’t you understand?
Nothing can heal me
I’m lost in the wickedness
Of my past,
And I can’t escape.
Please,
Death is such a sweet escape,
When all I can do is destroy
Doomsday, welcome me
In your grasp.
Make this be the end.
Bring Armageddon,
Bring my death.
Please.
I’m dying anyway,
With every beautiful thing
I crush.
If I touch you…
May I die before I get near you.
You are far too precious…
Forget me,
And GET AWAY!!!
From the Inside
I miss you
I want you
I need you
Tell me what it will take
To make you mine.
Hold me in your arms,
Please don’t let me go.
What will it take
To make you mine?
Can I keep you?
Do you love me?
The thought of losing you
Keeps me awake every night.
Please don’t leave me.
Take all that I am,
And I pray that you
Accept me.
As much as I hate to lose you,
I am thankful for every
Second I’ve been blessed with
With you.
You deserve so much more
Than anything I can ever give you.
If you really must go,
I understand.
Just go,
Knowing I love you,
And always will.
I want you
I need you
Tell me what it will take
To make you mine.
Hold me in your arms,
Please don’t let me go.
What will it take
To make you mine?
Can I keep you?
Do you love me?
The thought of losing you
Keeps me awake every night.
Please don’t leave me.
Take all that I am,
And I pray that you
Accept me.
As much as I hate to lose you,
I am thankful for every
Second I’ve been blessed with
With you.
You deserve so much more
Than anything I can ever give you.
If you really must go,
I understand.
Just go,
Knowing I love you,
And always will.
If You Love Someone
Eyes of an angel
I can see your beautiful soul.
Touch of a princess
I go numb with a passing glance.
Hold me in your arms,
Never, never let me go.
I get lost in your beauty.
What kills me more,
You have a heart.
A genuine heart.
You love.
Teach me,
Teach me how to love.
You treasure those around you.
You are my treasure,
And I will protect my treasure
Until the very end.
I don’t care if you value me.
You are my treasure,
You are mine.
I love you,
Can you accept my love?
Desperate to prove,
I’m falling even more
In love with you.
Take my life in your care,
For I am your’s,
And you are mine.
I can see your beautiful soul.
Touch of a princess
I go numb with a passing glance.
Hold me in your arms,
Never, never let me go.
I get lost in your beauty.
What kills me more,
You have a heart.
A genuine heart.
You love.
Teach me,
Teach me how to love.
You treasure those around you.
You are my treasure,
And I will protect my treasure
Until the very end.
I don’t care if you value me.
You are my treasure,
You are mine.
I love you,
Can you accept my love?
Desperate to prove,
I’m falling even more
In love with you.
Take my life in your care,
For I am your’s,
And you are mine.
Crushcrushcrush
It seems to me that
You love lies.
Well, here’s another one
I hate you.
I hate everything about you
The look in your eyes
It’s more than I can take
And I hate you for it.
What?
You don’t like lies anymore?
Fine.
Here’s the truth.
You mean the entire world to me.
There is nothing greater in
My life than you.
To lose you is to lose
Purpose and meaning
In my life.
My heart is breaking
With the realization
That I am losing you.
Come back,
Never leave me.
I need you.
Do you need me?
You love lies.
Well, here’s another one
I hate you.
I hate everything about you
The look in your eyes
It’s more than I can take
And I hate you for it.
What?
You don’t like lies anymore?
Fine.
Here’s the truth.
You mean the entire world to me.
There is nothing greater in
My life than you.
To lose you is to lose
Purpose and meaning
In my life.
My heart is breaking
With the realization
That I am losing you.
Come back,
Never leave me.
I need you.
Do you need me?
Blurry
Haunted to the grave
By the images of my nightmare
Rescue me,
I am so lost.
This is a new kind of fear
He has put around me.
Kill me with loneliness,
Kill me with betrayal,
But this…
This is too much.
Passion’s killing floor
Is tearing my soul apart.
Will this pain ever relent?
I wish I was alone..
I wish I couldn’t feel anymore..
Maybe if I couldn’t feel
I’d forget about this pain.
Will you help me?
Or am I beyond your grasp?
Can you teach me
How to heal?
Can you teach me
How to live again?
Which is better,
To live and die horrifically,
Or to die now,
And end this now..
The choice is obvious,
But you will never know.
End this misery,
Take me away
By the images of my nightmare
Rescue me,
I am so lost.
This is a new kind of fear
He has put around me.
Kill me with loneliness,
Kill me with betrayal,
But this…
This is too much.
Passion’s killing floor
Is tearing my soul apart.
Will this pain ever relent?
I wish I was alone..
I wish I couldn’t feel anymore..
Maybe if I couldn’t feel
I’d forget about this pain.
Will you help me?
Or am I beyond your grasp?
Can you teach me
How to heal?
Can you teach me
How to live again?
Which is better,
To live and die horrifically,
Or to die now,
And end this now..
The choice is obvious,
But you will never know.
End this misery,
Take me away
You Found Me
When there’s nothing left,
When there’s no where
Else to go,
When I get lost
And can’t find my way,
You find me.
How can I never get so far away,
That you can’t find me?
Oh the depth of your
Love for me is
Mind shattering.
Oh to be wrapped in your arms,
And to never be alone,
It’s amazing.
It’s a love that can be found
No where else.
Not even in another person.
Can my love even be enough
To suffice her needs?
God, she needs you more than ever.
Fill her to the point
Of no return.
Make her know that there is
No greater love than the love you
Have for her.
Use me in a way
That she knows you are always there,
Despite all feelings.
Thank you dear God.
Amen.
When there’s no where
Else to go,
When I get lost
And can’t find my way,
You find me.
How can I never get so far away,
That you can’t find me?
Oh the depth of your
Love for me is
Mind shattering.
Oh to be wrapped in your arms,
And to never be alone,
It’s amazing.
It’s a love that can be found
No where else.
Not even in another person.
Can my love even be enough
To suffice her needs?
God, she needs you more than ever.
Fill her to the point
Of no return.
Make her know that there is
No greater love than the love you
Have for her.
Use me in a way
That she knows you are always there,
Despite all feelings.
Thank you dear God.
Amen.
Over the Hills and Far Away
Do you know you truly
Mean something to me?
The grass was always greener
On the other side.
But now from over here,
I realize the other side is
So much better.
Please, don’t worry about me,
Do what you need to do.
If you need to go,
You have to go.
This is bigger than you.
I don’t want to be
The reason you stay.
Make this step,
And call it your own.
Don’t let anyone
Move you any other way.
My heart screams for
You to stay,
But my soul knows
The struggle you face
And the trial
That is before you.
“In my heart
I realize
I’m slowly losing you.”
I pray that you find
Solace in your final decision.
Please at least allow me
To at least see you
On the other side.
Mean something to me?
The grass was always greener
On the other side.
But now from over here,
I realize the other side is
So much better.
Please, don’t worry about me,
Do what you need to do.
If you need to go,
You have to go.
This is bigger than you.
I don’t want to be
The reason you stay.
Make this step,
And call it your own.
Don’t let anyone
Move you any other way.
My heart screams for
You to stay,
But my soul knows
The struggle you face
And the trial
That is before you.
“In my heart
I realize
I’m slowly losing you.”
I pray that you find
Solace in your final decision.
Please at least allow me
To at least see you
On the other side.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Perfect
You’re not perfect
This I know.
What need do I have
For perfection?
My heart swells,
My pulse races,
My eyes blur.
A vision of brilliance,
Your eyes beam,
A gentle smile
Across your face.
I take your hand,
Our hands
Forever intertwined,
This is all I ever need
Walk with me
Through this eternity
Through this undying age,
I need your love
To carry me,
To save me
To hold me.
You are the one I want,
Come to me.
Fear is erased
All pain is gone
Past heartache forgotten
This is where I’m meant to be.
Show me the way,
Carry me home.
Note: Just so no one asks, Yes! I write my own stuff. I will note if they are real lyrics by an existing band or not. But for these kinds of notes, they are my own material that I have written myself. Just because it sounds depressing, sad, angry, etc. Does NOT mean that is really what is going on in my life or head. I write just to write, and I get inspiration for what I write from conversations with friends, music I listen to, what is going on in classes, etc. People who really know me will really know what is going on, but just so everyone knows ahead of time.. So please don't ask if I'm ok, or if everything is alright! Thanks
This I know.
What need do I have
For perfection?
My heart swells,
My pulse races,
My eyes blur.
A vision of brilliance,
Your eyes beam,
A gentle smile
Across your face.
I take your hand,
Our hands
Forever intertwined,
This is all I ever need
Walk with me
Through this eternity
Through this undying age,
I need your love
To carry me,
To save me
To hold me.
You are the one I want,
Come to me.
Fear is erased
All pain is gone
Past heartache forgotten
This is where I’m meant to be.
Show me the way,
Carry me home.
Note: Just so no one asks, Yes! I write my own stuff. I will note if they are real lyrics by an existing band or not. But for these kinds of notes, they are my own material that I have written myself. Just because it sounds depressing, sad, angry, etc. Does NOT mean that is really what is going on in my life or head. I write just to write, and I get inspiration for what I write from conversations with friends, music I listen to, what is going on in classes, etc. People who really know me will really know what is going on, but just so everyone knows ahead of time.. So please don't ask if I'm ok, or if everything is alright! Thanks
The Beginning
This is my new blog that I'm starting to basically do the exact same thing that I've been doing with notes on facebook for the last year and a half. I'll be putting up stuff that I write (poetry... or whatever you want to call it), songs that I have stuck in my head, lyrics to music that I'm thinking through and are having a huge impact, or just straight up journal entries talking about stuff going on in my life!
Leave all the comments you want on everything! I really want to hear what everyone thinks about the crazy things that go on in my head.
Leave all the comments you want on everything! I really want to hear what everyone thinks about the crazy things that go on in my head.
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