In this hopeless abandon
Something inside me is
Screaming for more.
It was never supposed
To be this way,
But I don't know any different.
The changes inside take root
As the darkness creeps throughout.
The volume of message
Was all too clear,
The messenger
Came far too near.
Where is this going,
Why are you leading?
As the pen
Crosses this paper,
I'm reminded
Of the cold fingers
Around my throat
That prevent
The secrets from escaping.
As a candle sheds
Light in a black room
So shall I,
Figure this out
And find the end.
Darkness can only last so long
Enjoy your time left.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Dreams
My heart swells
At the mere thought
Of holding your hand,
Or your head on my shoulder,
As you fall asleep.
The peace you exude
Is enough to calm
Even my restless nerves.
Someone like you
Can get any guy you want,
But somehow I have
Your undivided attention.
What could I possibly
Ever have done to earn your attention?
I'm afraid to close
My eyes at night,
Out of fear
When I reopen them,
You will be only
An incredible dream.
The kind of dream
You never want to have
Because you're afraid
Nothing like that
Could ever happen in real life.
You surprise me every day,
There you are,
With the smile of an angel,
And the embrace of someone who loves me,
I know you're real,
And I can't stop loving you.
At the mere thought
Of holding your hand,
Or your head on my shoulder,
As you fall asleep.
The peace you exude
Is enough to calm
Even my restless nerves.
Someone like you
Can get any guy you want,
But somehow I have
Your undivided attention.
What could I possibly
Ever have done to earn your attention?
I'm afraid to close
My eyes at night,
Out of fear
When I reopen them,
You will be only
An incredible dream.
The kind of dream
You never want to have
Because you're afraid
Nothing like that
Could ever happen in real life.
You surprise me every day,
There you are,
With the smile of an angel,
And the embrace of someone who loves me,
I know you're real,
And I can't stop loving you.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Crush
Don’t toy with my mind
This is the point we’ve reached.
Is this really what is going on?
The confession my heart has whispered
More times than I can count,
You mean more to me
Then I even know how to tell you.
A fear has gripped me for so long,
The fear of not knowing.
Will you accept me?
Will this ruin the friendship we have?
Acid burns in my chest
When I see another guy
Talking to you like that,
And the smile that lights up your face.
More and more I realize
My life isn’t like the movies.
The guy doesn’t always get the girl
Prince Charming doesn’t always come
Riding on the white horse.
I hope and pray
That you can see and hear me,
Will my confession
Fall on deaf ears?
Does it even matter
What you mean to me?
I’m not famous,
I’m nothing special,
I’m just the one
Who wants to hold you
In his arms,
And be the one there for you always.
Does it even matter?
It may be just a crush,
But I don’t care.
All I want is you,
Do you feel the same?
This is the point we’ve reached.
Is this really what is going on?
The confession my heart has whispered
More times than I can count,
You mean more to me
Then I even know how to tell you.
A fear has gripped me for so long,
The fear of not knowing.
Will you accept me?
Will this ruin the friendship we have?
Acid burns in my chest
When I see another guy
Talking to you like that,
And the smile that lights up your face.
More and more I realize
My life isn’t like the movies.
The guy doesn’t always get the girl
Prince Charming doesn’t always come
Riding on the white horse.
I hope and pray
That you can see and hear me,
Will my confession
Fall on deaf ears?
Does it even matter
What you mean to me?
I’m not famous,
I’m nothing special,
I’m just the one
Who wants to hold you
In his arms,
And be the one there for you always.
Does it even matter?
It may be just a crush,
But I don’t care.
All I want is you,
Do you feel the same?
A Thousand Goodbyes
Why is it when I’m around you
I feel like a tiger in a zoo
A metallic cage as my prison
Set out for all to point and stare.
I feel like the main attraction
In your sick masquerade you call life.
The party scene all too attractive
For you to use some brain cells and walk away.
As the words left my mouth, I regretted them right away
How could you make me say I love you,
You angel of wrath.
You opened my eyes to a pain only the heart can feel,
I need to wake up, to forget everything
Move on, lessons learned, get me out of here.
I wish I could paint for you
An accurate picture of the torture you’ve put me through.
I wish I could count the times all the times I said goodbye,
All the times I swore I would never come back.
My heart swore you could change
My mind knows you’re too far gone
The sickness in the pit of my stomach should have been enough
Of a red flag for me to know what I was doing wrong.
As the words left my mouth, I regretted them right away
How could you make me say I love you,
You angel of wrath.
You opened my eyes to a pain only the heart can feel
I need to wake up, to forget everything.
Move on, lessons learned, get me out of here.
Show me something new, prove me wrong
Show me I don’t have you all figured out
There has never been a time like now,
Where I’ve wanted to be wrong, as bad as I do now.
Everything around me is screaming to walk away and give up
Let me go, walk away, this games over
Thing’s changed, and it never will
As the words left my mouth, I regretted them right away
How could you make me say I love you,
You angel of wrath.
You opened my eyes to a pain only the heart can feel
I need to wake up, to forget everything
Move on, lessons learned, get me out of here.
I feel like a tiger in a zoo
A metallic cage as my prison
Set out for all to point and stare.
I feel like the main attraction
In your sick masquerade you call life.
The party scene all too attractive
For you to use some brain cells and walk away.
As the words left my mouth, I regretted them right away
How could you make me say I love you,
You angel of wrath.
You opened my eyes to a pain only the heart can feel,
I need to wake up, to forget everything
Move on, lessons learned, get me out of here.
I wish I could paint for you
An accurate picture of the torture you’ve put me through.
I wish I could count the times all the times I said goodbye,
All the times I swore I would never come back.
My heart swore you could change
My mind knows you’re too far gone
The sickness in the pit of my stomach should have been enough
Of a red flag for me to know what I was doing wrong.
As the words left my mouth, I regretted them right away
How could you make me say I love you,
You angel of wrath.
You opened my eyes to a pain only the heart can feel
I need to wake up, to forget everything.
Move on, lessons learned, get me out of here.
Show me something new, prove me wrong
Show me I don’t have you all figured out
There has never been a time like now,
Where I’ve wanted to be wrong, as bad as I do now.
Everything around me is screaming to walk away and give up
Let me go, walk away, this games over
Thing’s changed, and it never will
As the words left my mouth, I regretted them right away
How could you make me say I love you,
You angel of wrath.
You opened my eyes to a pain only the heart can feel
I need to wake up, to forget everything
Move on, lessons learned, get me out of here.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Confessions
I see you nearly everyday
We talk all the time.
Before we’re even close
To being done hanging out,
We’re already planning
The next time.
There is so much similarity
Between us,
And yet there is also
Much difference.
You are probably
One of the most real things
In my life.
I hate it when I’m not near you,
I miss you incredibly
When you’re away.
I honestly feel
Like I’ve known you forever.
You may think I’m crazy,
Heck, you’ve told me so
Countless times,
But I need you.
I love you,
More than you could understand.
You blow me off,
And I’m still here.
You cling to me
During hard times,
And I ache
As you explain
I’ve never seen you cry,
You’re strong,
But you can’t hide.
I know you far too well.
All this time,
I thought you knew
What has gone on
In my head.
Clearly I’m wrong,
And you haven’t caught on.
Soon enough,
I’m coming clean,
And I’ll make sure
You know how I feel.
I love you,
And I need you,
I understand
You may not feel
The same way.
But maybe,
Just maybe…
I’m wrong.
I hope
That you just keep
Your cards close,
And play them
At just the right time.
You know
How to make me jealous,
You know
How to make me respond.
As cliché as it sounds,
No one has ever made me feel
The way that you do.
I pray,
That we will be together…
One day.
Even if it is years down the road.
We talk all the time.
Before we’re even close
To being done hanging out,
We’re already planning
The next time.
There is so much similarity
Between us,
And yet there is also
Much difference.
You are probably
One of the most real things
In my life.
I hate it when I’m not near you,
I miss you incredibly
When you’re away.
I honestly feel
Like I’ve known you forever.
You may think I’m crazy,
Heck, you’ve told me so
Countless times,
But I need you.
I love you,
More than you could understand.
You blow me off,
And I’m still here.
You cling to me
During hard times,
And I ache
As you explain
I’ve never seen you cry,
You’re strong,
But you can’t hide.
I know you far too well.
All this time,
I thought you knew
What has gone on
In my head.
Clearly I’m wrong,
And you haven’t caught on.
Soon enough,
I’m coming clean,
And I’ll make sure
You know how I feel.
I love you,
And I need you,
I understand
You may not feel
The same way.
But maybe,
Just maybe…
I’m wrong.
I hope
That you just keep
Your cards close,
And play them
At just the right time.
You know
How to make me jealous,
You know
How to make me respond.
As cliché as it sounds,
No one has ever made me feel
The way that you do.
I pray,
That we will be together…
One day.
Even if it is years down the road.
Stricken
Falling slowly away
I reach for your hand,
But it is just beyond my grasp.
Why can’t I reach you,
Why do you run?
There cannot be any other,
Can you not see?
Six years
We’ve been playing this game.
I need an end,
I need a resolution.
Tell me
Where this path leads
Does it intertwine?
Does it disconnect?
Are we so separate
You cannot even see the choice?
The bell tolls,
And your eyes are opened.
I fear the moment
Is nearly too late.
Is the madness over,
Can you honestly tell,
Show me the way
Make it clear,
Tell me now.
Accept the call
Trust me once more.
The bond that cannot break
Proves once more.
Try as you have,
It has not been shaken.
One more attempt,
You see it has withstood trial.
I beg you please,
Just listen.
Logic points only one direction,
What is your final decision?
Betray logic,
Or accept love.
The choice,
I fear,
Remains only in your hands.
I reach for your hand,
But it is just beyond my grasp.
Why can’t I reach you,
Why do you run?
There cannot be any other,
Can you not see?
Six years
We’ve been playing this game.
I need an end,
I need a resolution.
Tell me
Where this path leads
Does it intertwine?
Does it disconnect?
Are we so separate
You cannot even see the choice?
The bell tolls,
And your eyes are opened.
I fear the moment
Is nearly too late.
Is the madness over,
Can you honestly tell,
Show me the way
Make it clear,
Tell me now.
Accept the call
Trust me once more.
The bond that cannot break
Proves once more.
Try as you have,
It has not been shaken.
One more attempt,
You see it has withstood trial.
I beg you please,
Just listen.
Logic points only one direction,
What is your final decision?
Betray logic,
Or accept love.
The choice,
I fear,
Remains only in your hands.
Far Better to Learn
Darkness in silence
Bitterness locked away
A resilient rage
Storming against my heart.
Heartstrings come undone
As I listen to the wind
Her silent whisper
A curse in my mind.
I can’t take this anymore
The memories spilling over
Consuming every word
Every thought,
Every movement.
A maelstrom of chaos,
You thought
You owned me
From the beginning.
Things must change
Where do they begin.
As I recount the destruction
I can taste the poison
In your every word.
The sickness slowly taking over,
My eyes start to fail me.
As darkness begins
To shroud the light.
I can no longer see
But I can feel it
Slowly taking over
If I give into it,
I’m already dead
One last struggle
The final breath
You cannot win,
No, not even in death.
The bittersweet quiet
Finally grants relief.
Revenge is dead,
While mercy lives on.
Bitterness locked away
A resilient rage
Storming against my heart.
Heartstrings come undone
As I listen to the wind
Her silent whisper
A curse in my mind.
I can’t take this anymore
The memories spilling over
Consuming every word
Every thought,
Every movement.
A maelstrom of chaos,
You thought
You owned me
From the beginning.
Things must change
Where do they begin.
As I recount the destruction
I can taste the poison
In your every word.
The sickness slowly taking over,
My eyes start to fail me.
As darkness begins
To shroud the light.
I can no longer see
But I can feel it
Slowly taking over
If I give into it,
I’m already dead
One last struggle
The final breath
You cannot win,
No, not even in death.
The bittersweet quiet
Finally grants relief.
Revenge is dead,
While mercy lives on.
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