Confessions

I see you nearly everyday
We talk all the time.
Before we’re even close
To being done hanging out,
We’re already planning
The next time.
There is so much similarity
Between us,
And yet there is also
Much difference.
You are probably
One of the most real things
In my life.
I hate it when I’m not near you,
I miss you incredibly
When you’re away.
I honestly feel
Like I’ve known you forever.
You may think I’m crazy,
Heck, you’ve told me so
Countless times,
But I need you.
I love you,
More than you could understand.
You blow me off,
And I’m still here.
You cling to me
During hard times,
And I ache
As you explain
I’ve never seen you cry,
You’re strong,
But you can’t hide.
I know you far too well.
All this time,
I thought you knew
What has gone on
In my head.
Clearly I’m wrong,
And you haven’t caught on.
Soon enough,
I’m coming clean,
And I’ll make sure
You know how I feel.
I love you,
And I need you,
I understand
You may not feel
The same way.
But maybe,
Just maybe…
I’m wrong.
I hope
That you just keep
Your cards close,
And play them
At just the right time.
You know
How to make me jealous,
You know
How to make me respond.
As cliché as it sounds,
No one has ever made me feel
The way that you do.
I pray,
That we will be together…
One day.
Even if it is years down the road.

Stricken

Falling slowly away
I reach for your hand,
But it is just beyond my grasp.
Why can’t I reach you,
Why do you run?
There cannot be any other,
Can you not see?
Six years
We’ve been playing this game.
I need an end,
I need a resolution.
Tell me
Where this path leads
Does it intertwine?
Does it disconnect?
Are we so separate
You cannot even see the choice?
The bell tolls,
And your eyes are opened.
I fear the moment
Is nearly too late.
Is the madness over,
Can you honestly tell,
Show me the way
Make it clear,
Tell me now.
Accept the call
Trust me once more.
The bond that cannot break
Proves once more.
Try as you have,
It has not been shaken.
One more attempt,
You see it has withstood trial.
I beg you please,
Just listen.
Logic points only one direction,
What is your final decision?
Betray logic,
Or accept love.
The choice,
I fear,
Remains only in your hands.

Far Better to Learn

Darkness in silence
Bitterness locked away
A resilient rage
Storming against my heart.
Heartstrings come undone
As I listen to the wind
Her silent whisper
A curse in my mind.
I can’t take this anymore
The memories spilling over
Consuming every word
Every thought,
Every movement.
A maelstrom of chaos,
You thought
You owned me
From the beginning.
Things must change
Where do they begin.
As I recount the destruction
I can taste the poison
In your every word.
The sickness slowly taking over,
My eyes start to fail me.
As darkness begins
To shroud the light.
I can no longer see
But I can feel it
Slowly taking over
If I give into it,
I’m already dead
One last struggle
The final breath
You cannot win,
No, not even in death.
The bittersweet quiet
Finally grants relief.
Revenge is dead,
While mercy lives on.

Let the Rain Fall Down

Sitting here
Listening to the rain
I am once again reminded
Of a memory
Trapped in the pits
Trying to resurface,
While long forgotten.
Some memories
Are better left forgotten,
But I struggle
Deciding if this is one
Is worth remembering.
The rain
Paints a stunning picture
The kind that crushes the soul
While trying to forget
A pain that seared the skin.
Long walks in the rain
A peace overcomes my soul
I cannot articulate.
Walking in silence,
Side by side,
You never left me
Conversations that needed
No words
An entire discussion
In a passing glance.
The embrace
That left its mark.
The scar
Invisible to their eyes,
Plain as day to my heart.
Hands lifted high
In surrender
To the only One
Who knows.
A silent kiss
Goodnight to the sky,
I hold your hand
One final time.
As my hand
Falls limp to my side,
I clench my fist,
Forcing my hand
To never forget your touch.

Simply Being Loved

Sometimes
Memories are the real pain.
I see you walk by,
My heart remembers your touch,
My hands remember
The warmth of your hands.
My soul remembers the promises.
Are memories
Better left forgotten?
You haunt my nightmares,
As often as you haunt my days.
Shadowy memories,
Almost the most painful.
I can’t forget you,
I can’t shake
The memories from my mind.
I’ve moved on,
Found someone new.
The shiny new toy
Doesn’t exist.
Just the new love,
The One that sees
Me for me.
I take her hand,
Like I took yours.
Something’s different.
I don’t remember you
When I’m with her.
She knows me
Better than you did,
She has seen my soul
And did not turn away like you.
I look into her eyes,
Like I looked into yours.
I see love,
I don’t see reservations,
Like I saw in yours.
Reminded
Over and over,
You were never
The One.
She may be,
I now remember
What love tastes like.

Rescue Me

Yearning for the silent escape,
I can taste the poison
On my tongue.
The screams come out
Raging against my soul.
My heart is lost,
Aching to need,
Aching to love,
Aching for love.
The kiss of Death
Is all too sweet.
Reaching out
Trying to find
That one solid grip.
I can’t see you
But it’s my heart
That was leading,
And the reason
For the relentless bleeding.
Creeping along,
Take my hand,
Lead me to that place.
The one that will save me,
Take me there,
I need to be rescued.

Vacation's Over

My heart is raging
Against my ribcage,
Screaming for justice.
How can you just stand by
When I am bound down like this?
This fury sets me free,
Shows me I truly am alone.
The suffocating silence
Is the true enemy.
The pin drop wasn’t evident
But the kiss said it all.
I hate how you’ve changed me,
I hate what you’ve shown me.
I can’t take
The memory
Of your face any longer.
Thrashing about,
I try to rip
Your face from my mind.
My conscience is clean,
My sight is clear.
I refuse to continue
To be destroyed by you
Day after day.
I’ve been through this
Far too many times.
Get out of my head
Get out of my dreams.
Walk into my nightmares,
And never return.