Never Again

You make me want to scream
To give up,
To not even try,
To say it is just not worth it.
How can this make you happy?
Does despair truly bring you joy?
Anger ravages my bones,
My rage has wearied my soul.
Too long this has gone on,
Too long I’ve let you have control.
Mistake after mistake
Has led up to this,
And I am so ready to let go.
Arms wide open,
Preparing for this jump,
The cliff is so welcoming,
The hands at the bottom,
So willing to bring me into darkness.
Wouldn’t that just thrill you.
To be the death of me.
Your touch is toxic,
Your words a poison
I grew accustomed to.
This game is over,
I’m letting go,
Get out of my head,
Stop talking,
Leave me alone,
Forget me,
As I forget you.

Something New

My thoughts are racing,
And I’ve lost track of reality,
My thoughts are ransacked,
Pieces of rubble
As I struggle to understand
How I got here.
You entered my life.
Now I’m left questioning
Everything I thought I ever understood.
I’m not alone,
Your hand is in mine,
You’re on this journey with me.
Where did you come from?
I can’t fathom where we’re going.
Do you know what’s going on?
The moment you took my hand,
We began this trip,
My heart is no longer my own,
We’re sprinting forward.
No promises of safety,
No guarantees.
I’m right here with you,
As we chase the sunrise
Of something new.
The race began yesterday,
And I’m not willing to quit.
I’m still wondering
How this will end,
But isn’t it about the journey,
Not the destination?
With you by my side,
I have your back,
We can make this work,
We’ll get to the end.
Is this a race,
You want to win?

Underserved Joy

Every mistake ever made,
Swirling through my consciousness,
Reminding me with every waking moment,
That I don’t deserve this.
I’m afraid to close my eyes at night,
In fear that when they open,
You’ll be gone,
Just as fast as you came.
As an angel of the night,
You arrived,
Bringing a God-sent peace.
You will never know
What you’ve done to my heart,
You’ll never understand
The healing you’ve started.
I lay awake at night
Wondering if you’re thinking of me,
The way I think of you.
You are so perfect,
I fear you are merely a dream.
How I long to touch your face,
To hold you close,
And whisper promises in your ear,
Of how we’ll be together forever.
The craziest of circumstances
Has brought us together,
Yet I cannot imagine my life
Any other way.

A New Beginning

I wish there was some way
To give you back
Everything you’ve given me.
Something has changed inside,
I feel like I’ve been given a second chance.
I bore my heart,
And you continued to hold it.
You didn’t throw it away,
Like every other one.
How can I make you proud of me?
You can do no wrong,
Your words are like fire,
Stirring this healthy pain
In my heart
I’ve never experienced.
Can’t you see?
I’m new.
Like a breath of fresh air,
Like a cold shower
After mowing the lawn.
The smell after a storm,
I can feel you,
Moving me forward.
The weight’s been lifted,
The games are over,
Tomorrow is a new day,
The freshest start.

Safe

Far from perfect
Everything is falling apart
As the memories come racing back
The mistakes start stacking.
How did I get so far off track?
This is the last step
The last chance.
I cannot ruin this one,
My last promise.
Tell me I stand a chance
Console my heart,
I can’t stand to lose this one.
Come so far,
I feel my fingers
Slowly losing their grip
On every slippery hold
That was once so solid.
There was no lie in her eyes,
I cannot shake
The fear that is choking
All sense of hope
That this is following the path
That I wish so desperately to have.
Options have been exhausted,
As I sit here,
I can only pray
That I am still everything
You say I am,
Far from a failure,
Yet never reaching perfection.
Take me by the hand,
Carry me to the destination,
My body is weary,
My legs cannot hold me any longer.
My strength is gone,
All that’s left is you…
Thank you,
For being everything you always said you were.

Dream On

Page after page of pure perfection
Dreams coming true
At the turn of every page.
The guy always gets
The girl of his dreams,
And the girl always gets
Mr. Perfect.
Pure imagination,
Manipulation at its best.
My story’s been told
A hundred times,
Yet nothing can touch
This novel my heart has written
A million times over.
Unease fills my chest
As you start to read.
Our dreams are so different,
Yet they somehow coincide.
You often ask,
Why can’t my life,
Be more like those books,
When the answer is so clear
They are but fantasy,
Someone else's fiction.
Reality is filled with
Wrong choices,
Heartache,
Despair,
All the while knowing
All the love and joy,
That fantasy only focus on.
All my life’s lessons,
Come from living,
From experience,
From dreaming,
And striving
To make my hopes and dreams
Become a reality,
Something a child's imagination
Could not think up.
Dreams becoming reality,
Far more than a story can create.

Galaxies Collide

The sun descends
After the utmost
Of perfection. 
Beauty dripping down
The fabrics of the sky. 
Failures erased
As mistakes are dried. 
The stars sing
Their quiet melody
As you and I dance
In the twilight. 
The moon watches quietly
As a perfect night is made. 
There she stands
In all her wonder,
Imaginations are silenced
For they cannot compare. 
This world is our dancefloor,
As we move
With boundless grace. 
Take my hand,
The day will never end,
As you are in my arms.