Simply Being Loved

Sometimes
Memories are the real pain.
I see you walk by,
My heart remembers your touch,
My hands remember
The warmth of your hands.
My soul remembers the promises.
Are memories
Better left forgotten?
You haunt my nightmares,
As often as you haunt my days.
Shadowy memories,
Almost the most painful.
I can’t forget you,
I can’t shake
The memories from my mind.
I’ve moved on,
Found someone new.
The shiny new toy
Doesn’t exist.
Just the new love,
The One that sees
Me for me.
I take her hand,
Like I took yours.
Something’s different.
I don’t remember you
When I’m with her.
She knows me
Better than you did,
She has seen my soul
And did not turn away like you.
I look into her eyes,
Like I looked into yours.
I see love,
I don’t see reservations,
Like I saw in yours.
Reminded
Over and over,
You were never
The One.
She may be,
I now remember
What love tastes like.

Rescue Me

Yearning for the silent escape,
I can taste the poison
On my tongue.
The screams come out
Raging against my soul.
My heart is lost,
Aching to need,
Aching to love,
Aching for love.
The kiss of Death
Is all too sweet.
Reaching out
Trying to find
That one solid grip.
I can’t see you
But it’s my heart
That was leading,
And the reason
For the relentless bleeding.
Creeping along,
Take my hand,
Lead me to that place.
The one that will save me,
Take me there,
I need to be rescued.

Vacation's Over

My heart is raging
Against my ribcage,
Screaming for justice.
How can you just stand by
When I am bound down like this?
This fury sets me free,
Shows me I truly am alone.
The suffocating silence
Is the true enemy.
The pin drop wasn’t evident
But the kiss said it all.
I hate how you’ve changed me,
I hate what you’ve shown me.
I can’t take
The memory
Of your face any longer.
Thrashing about,
I try to rip
Your face from my mind.
My conscience is clean,
My sight is clear.
I refuse to continue
To be destroyed by you
Day after day.
I’ve been through this
Far too many times.
Get out of my head
Get out of my dreams.
Walk into my nightmares,
And never return.

The Darkest Night

Shattered to pieces
Forgotten the light
I’m sorry
I cannot be everything
You want me to be
Forgive me
For being imperfect
Flawed
Defective
I’m not the sparkling jewel you want.
Ineloquent
Self-conscious
My bleeding fist
Through the mirror
Is the true reflection
Of how I feel.
This bitter cold darkness
Has crept in,
Tainting the light.
This can’t be real,
You wouldn’t know
The real me,
Even if I showed you.
You wouldn’t want to anyway.
One more smile,
One more wave,
One more lonely glance,
I can get through this day.
I lost myself
And I don’t know
Where to find me.
The mask has been on
For far too long
I don’t know
Who I am anymore.
Vicious thoughts take over,
Ravaging my brain.
Careening out of control,
I stumble around.
When will my voice
Finally go above
This wretched ceiling

Silent Night

I cut my heart out
Throw it off to the side,
Let it bleed and die on its own.
It doesn’t need your help,
You’ve done enough already.
What a sudden,
Sick turn of events.
You opened my eyes
In a way you will never understand.
In a sleepless slumber,
My eyes still haven’t adjusted.
I held out my hand,
Yet I saw the void
In your eyes
As you slapped my hand away.
It never meant anything,
Just as you said.
One final kiss goodnight,
And I’m finally awake.

This Is A Call

How to speak the words out loud
That have been in silence for so long.
Four years have passed,
And nothing has changed.
In my mind,
I’ve screamed from mountain tops
How much you mean to me.
I’ve told you how I want
To spend the rest of my life with you
To protect you
To love you.
It’s so much different
To say it straight out
I’m not even a second thought
In your head
We’re the good friends,
But that’s all you’ve ever considered.
You chase all the others,
But you forget about me
Every time in the process.
You’re not the best one for me,
But you’re all I want.
I’m not the best you could ever have,
But I guarantee I love you the most.
I want to be the one your with,
To hold your hand
To be at your side,
During ever success,
Every failure,
Every trial.
Give me the chance.

Far Away

Something’s wrong with this picture.
The lines are fading,
Colors are turning gray,
Definitions losing their meaning.
I’m holding it
Looking for the hidden meaning
That piece that was forgotten.
Brilliance is forgotten,
The vibrant colors are long gone.
Closing my eyes,
I can still picture your face
As you handed me this picture.
You gave it to me,
Telling me to never forget you.
I haven’t forgotten,
I’ve kept my promise.
Two years later, and I’m still waiting.
Your eyes are stones in this picture,
They couldn’t capture the softness,
The love,
The life.
The prayers never cease,
I count every moment
Waiting for your next call.
Return to me safely,
I need to in my arms
More than I can describe.